I married him because...

a. He makes me laugh.
Example: I bought a gallon of sweet tea on my way home from work tonight because my parents are visiting this weekend. It's not that they can't visit if we don't have it, but I like to have a variety of drinks when we have any company (okay, so now we have water, milk AND sweet tea - BIG variety!!!), and there's a place that makes THE BEST sweet tea anywhere, and it's on my way home, so I stopped and got some. Most people might go get things like milk and snack food when they have guests, but my must-have is sweet tea! So, the husband had his eye on it, and I told him it was for our guests. His reply was (in his most dorky voice) "Yep. I *guest* that you bought that for me."

b. He fixes things.
Example: Tonight, I made him some espresso with my new best friend (the espresso maker), and a little screw fell out. I mentioned it to him (while it was still hot), and he jumped up (the same man that was too busy and tired from writing a paper to get up and make his own damn coffee) and ran in to see what tools he needed to go get to fix it. I told him it was hot and it could wait a while to be fixed. He said he had to fix it right then. He needs an intervention...right now. I think appliances "complete him" or something. He's at one with our appliances. It's a sickness that he has that makes him unable to function when an appliance cannot function. It's like one twin being able to sense when another is in pain. BUT...my car makes a funny squealy sound, and he's been sleeping okay at night knowing that. Hmmmm....

Christmas is in the air!!!

Here's a recap of our long weekend:

Thursday: Cooked, stuffed ourselves - but not the turkey. Ate. Ate. Wallored around on the couch. Ate. Looked at sale ads from the newspaper and plotted our attack for Friday morning.

Friday: Woke up at 4am to get semi-decent for our shopathon. The husband slept until about 4:30, so he had to get decent really fast! I was in no mood for waiting around! We arrived at Sears (located in a mall approximately 12 minutes away). We decided that there was nothing there for me, so I went straight to the line in the tool department as he browsed the aisles hunting for the things he could not live without. He was finished just as it was my turn to pay. Yeah! What a team! Since that particular mall does not have a JCPenney or anything else good, we had to travel to mall #2. This one is about 10 minutes away from mall #1, and about 5 minutes from our house. We got to this second mall by 5:45am. I was going in Bath & Body Works for my selfish splurges and the husband was going to JCPenney for my Espresso maker. It was only $19.99 (Doorbuster) and I thought I had to have one. The husband just so happened to forget his wallet, so I had to run to JCP to meet him, where he was next in line to pay for my newest kitchen appliance. It's a good thing we make a good team, or he would have had to cover the Espresso box with a blanket and lay on top of it in the corner or something, so nobody took it away from him because he had no method of payment! I didn't even know how to make espresso, but I do now!!! From there, we went to K-Mart to get The Office Season 1 on DVD. We were on a roll, but it was only about 7:15 at that point, so we decided to stop by the house and drop off what we had bought so far and catch a second wind. The husband wanted to pick up his work boots and I wanted to pick up our clothes to take to the cleaners. We went by the Red Wing store so the husband could get new soles put on his boots, but we realized it was only 8am, and they didn't open until 10. Oops! We felt like it was already noon. The boot store is right next to a tool store, so we had to go in there. Circuit City is right next door, also, and Best Buy is across the street. We were glad we weren't going in either of those stores. There was an ambulance outside of Circuit City. I'm not surprised! People were parking blocks and blocks away for both of those stores. That's dumb!
Next, we went to the cleaners to drop off our clothes. Hallmark is next door to the cleaners, and Starbucks is right next to Hallmark, so we took in the entire shopping center. I got my Christmas cards, some Starbucks syrup and coffee and some helpful tips to get my Starbucks home barista off to a good start. From there, we went to the shoe store to drop off the boots and then we went home to nap. The husband did his homework while I took a really long nap! We finished the evening by eating some leftovers and guacamole I picked up at Baja Fresh. I know - what a winning combination! I also made us some Caramel Macchiato drinks that tasted just like Starbucks! I'm a good coffee barista!

Saturday: The husband and I put our Christmas tree up Saturday night. Of course, it come straight from storage closet, but before that - the Wal*Mart forest. This is the fourth (maybe fifth) year we've had it, and I'm ready for a new tree. Since the tree I have picked out is $349.99 in stores, my Mom told me to wait until after Christmas to get it. So, this is the farewell tour for our very first tree as husband and wife. It's been a good tree, though. It's been knocked over twice by Jackson the cat. He also tried climbing it in 2002 (the year we adopted him). That incident caused a bottom limb to break. It has been dragging close to the ground for the past few years. It must serve as a reminder to him, because he hasn't done anything but sit underneath it since then. He does, on occasion, pick a fight with the low-hanging ornaments, which we find in various locations throughout the house. I will take pictures of the tree soon, so everyone can see how gaudy it is! I don't think a branch should be without a colorful ornament! I got lots of ornaments back when I lived in Missouri and I worked at Silver Dollar City. They had a day in December that was "1/2 price day" This one day was the time you could get all of your Christmas presents or decorations for more realistic prices!

Sunday: I did homework and a little more decorating for Christmas. I had a migraine part of the day, so I rested a lot. I planned to call in sick Monday to visit the doctor for migraine medicine (too late for this one, but I need it for next time) and I needed a flu shot.

Monday: I called in sick to visit the doctor. I've worked at the university for over a year, and this is my FIRST sick day. I hate calling in sick, but I did today. I went to the doctor and he gave me a prescription for a few migraine pills and stuck me with a big fat flu shot. What a day!

Happy Thanksgiving!

This might be my favorite day of the year. *Almost* everyone is off work, and we all just focus on...well, eating and family. (Not eating your family, though)
The husband has to work today. He's been working a lot this week, and he's been to New York, Mississippi, and North Carolina over the past three days, so I hope he's not going to have to travel today so we can have our first ever Thanksgiving dinner at home. Since he's not been at work for a few days, he didn't know what sort of party or meal they were having there. He knew they were talking about a potluck, but wasn't sure what everyone was bringing. I told him I would make *semi-homemade* rolls, but he said he didn't want me to go to much trouble. Uhhh, does he realize that I don't actually mix and knead that dough? Anyways, I realized that I had a couple of already prepared pizza crusts (I like to keep these on hand for cheeseburger pizza) and we had plenty of sausage. We're country people at heart, so we always have plenty of eggs on hand, so I told him I could make breakfast pizza, so if nobody brings lunch food, they could at least have Thanksgiving breakfast. I forgot that meant I would have to wake up at 5:30 to prepare it. So, I heard the alarm and smiled inside, because I knew that I was off today. Oops! He asked me if I was getting up, and I remembered what I was supposed to do, so I jumped up and ran to the kitchen. I fixed two big pizzas, cut them up, and trusted the husband with two of my new Tupperware bowls...with the lids on. He'll bring them back home if he knows what's good for him! :) After he left, I drove down the street to get a newspaper at 7am, so I could map and plan tomorrow morning's activities for myself and the poor soul (the husband, of course) that I'm going to drug and drag along. He's a good sport, so I'm sure if he sees the Sears sign at 6am, he will just walk toward the light and I will pick him up there about noon, after I have my arms full of shopping bags and lots of goodies, and hopefully those goodies will be for someone other than myself. I have a tendency to purchase things for myself when I see such good deals! I will make a list tonight, but I already know that I am starting my day at Bath & Body Works because I need a few things (for myself). I'm planning on that purchase being the single selfish purchase for the entire day, but it won't be!
My turkey is in the oven and almost done, the green bean casserole is mixed and ready to go in the oven, my rolls are rising, and my mashed potatoes need to be heated. I will heat the gravy and make the Stove Top stuffing right before we're ready to eat. I told the husband that we were going to have a traditional Thanksgiving dinner with stuffing and everything (bless his heart, he hates stuffing because he says it's just soggy bread). I told him it was time that we had our own traditions, and he said that his family's tradition was Coconut Cream pie. I know he's full of shit, but I know he loves that darn pie, so I called my friend Sara Lee, and she left one at the grocery store just for him yesterday! Having our own traditional Thanksgiving also means that we will suffer through leftover turkey just like everyone else does!

I've thought of a few more things I'm thankful for:

* Pop singers are reinforcing the importance of spelling these days. I know that many people have learned to spell "B-A-N-A-N-A-S" from Gwen Stefani and Fergie has recently taught people to spell "D-E-L-I-C-I-O-U-S" in her new song. In the past, Men Without Hats taught us to spell "S-A-F-E-T-Y" and Aretha Franklin taught us to spell (and sing) "R-E-S-P-E-C-T." Spellers of America shall no longer be considered weirdos! (I'm hoping!)

* My husband and I can laugh together. He doesn't beat me, yell at me, make me cook for him or serve him. That's something to be thankful for! I sometimes cook for him and serve him, but I don't *HAVE* to. That's the key word! And, he appreciates what I do for him, and I appreciate what he does for me.

* We have secure jobs with good benefits and work with people we sort of enjoy and almost like sometimes. My job even allows laughing on occasion. I am a "Retention Coordinator," which means a guidance counselor for college students (that tend to drop out of school quite often). The word "retention" sounds stupid, and one student asked me if I held students, since retain means "to hold." We laughed, then I replied, "NO!" But, I love my job, and I really feel that I make a difference. Just this week, a student called their professor, (who I know really well), a "hardass etc." with a few other statements about them not knowing how to teach, etc. This is a rare occurrence, but it's always interesting to hear what they have to say! I've also had a student that wrote "F**k Off!" in an email to his professor. Saying it is one thing, but emailing an obscenity like that is crazy!!! So, it all worked out after he apologized (by email, of course), but it's stuff like this that make me appreciate a normal day when I can just help people with minor problems!

* We live in a nice neighborhood with nice and quiet neighbors.

* My bad haircut has been fixed.

I've got to tend to my turkey, but I'm thankful for so much more!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

The Thanksgiving Eating Festivities have begun!!!

Today, we had our Thanksgiving at work. It's always interesting to see what everyone contributes to the meal! I made green bean casserole (my first time making it) and homemade rolls. Okay, semi-homemade. I bought frozen dough, buttered it up, let it rise, and baked it. Yum. The house smelled like fresh bread, and I totally pull them off as real homemade rolls. Who cares! At least my ass doesn't go into the grocery store on the way to work and grab something! That's what lazy people, really busy working mothers and men do! My black friend, Donna, brought homemade macaroni and cheese. White people don't make macaroni and cheese like they do! We make it with Kraft's help...and sometimes even Velveeta. :) This is not my first encounter with a "sista's" mac & cheese. I have had it before and it has always been different and delicious, but this particular dish was the BEST ever! I told her that I would try it out and see if I could get white chicks started on this potluck delight! She and her mother are going to write everything down, so I can make it just like them. They also bake it in the oven. I've never heard of that before. I'm sure Martha Stewart is one white chick that has made something like this, but sometimes she's a little out there, so I don't always pay attention to what she cooks. I think she should take shortcuts now and then. We also had sweet potato casserole (I love sweet potatoes). I'm sure the Pilgrims brought sweet potatoes to America. They're good people! The university has a Thanksgiving tradition where each person tells what they're thankful for. I was last (of course), so I started telling everything I was thankful for, and I'm sure that I talked a little longer than anyone else, but since I had started my thankful list the other day, I was totally prepared! I wrapped it up as soon as people started cleaning up and taking food to the kitchen. Just kidding. I knew when I had to wrap it up, so then I just said really quickly, "And, I'm thankful for my cat, Jackson, and my fish, Santa Claus" One guy didn't mention his health, family, friends, job (even though I chuckle when people say this), but he said he was thankful for his boat and that he got to fish in his boat. What the? You can think of something better than that! That sounds pitiful! You have friends, you are 45 and live with your Dad, and you're thankful for fish? Well, I ain't never heard of such!

We're having a danged ol' Noreaster! (For real!)
In Missouri, we would use the term "Noreaster" like it was an all-purpose weather term that can be used at your leisure. Like, when I say I saw a jackalope crossing the road. I use "jackalope" for any unidentified rodent-like creature with fur. Well, Noreasters are for real! I swear! You'll be a believer as soon as you read this... As my friend and I were running across the street to the parking garage this evening, the rain was really coming down, and the wind was blowing really hard. We ran across the street, but when we tried to stop, we couldn't. I won't say she's a big girl, but I'm a big girl, and the thought of me running and not being able to stop seems somewhat hilarious to me. I'm thinking yeah right! If you were thinking that, too, that's okay! I understand. But, we really couldn't stop running! The wind was blowing that hard! Cars were gliding across streets due to the wind. The oceanfront looks like it's snowing because of the sea foam flying around. As I watch the ticker at the bottom of the television, it says "...ONLY MISSION-ESSENTIAL PERSONNEL SHOULD REPORT TO THE BASE ON WEDNESDAY..." Because we live in Military Central, they're always saying this sort of stuff. It seems so important and interesting. I will call tonight "MISSION: NOREASTER SURVIVAL!" Seriously, they are giving guidelines for vehicles that can go through the big tunnel (under the ocean to the "Eastern Shore") which are no motorcycles, no 6-wheel vehicles under 15,000 lbs, etc. There's a really long bridge before and after the tunnel, so I guess you might just blow off the bridge if you're not big enough. *They should have had a weight limit for crossing the street downtown this evening! Even though I'm sure I would have met the weight limit, I know some people would not have been safe on that street without an anchor!" The husband has not made much of an appearance in our home the past couple of days. He was in New York last night, and in Jackson, Mississippi tonight. I'm having to deal with this weather mess all by myself. It sucks!
Hopefully, I won't blow away until I get my share of pumpkin pie on Thursday!!!

NEW PICTURE!!!

Here's that stupid Photo Funhouse picture I promised (my body had to be airbrushed a little) HEE HEE!

My new haircuts!!! (yes, plural haircuts)

The husband needed a haircut on Saturday. I also needed my semi-annual haircut, so I decided to go with him. Okay, so there was a trip through a Starbucks drive-thru in the deal, so that's what really made my decision. But, I could use the cut to keep my hair looking healthy. The husband goes to one of those awful chains that just cut hair - nothing else. I always assume the employees there are beauty school dropouts or something, especially since we live in a military town. There are two types of haircuts here - the military cut or something else. The husband has the military cut and I have "something else." The girl I got stuck with must have dropped out before she learned the "something else" technique. It took her less time to cut a couple of inches off my mid-back length hair than the lady that did the military cut on my husband. That made me a little nervous, but I just went along with it. My hair was partially damp, but not near dry, so determining the length and the accuracy was impossible. I put it up in a clip and waited for the husband, and patiently awaited our trip to Starbucks, then to Sears (sale on tools - woopty damn doo!), then to the oceanfront to drive through the holiday lights. We had an exciting afternoon and evening planned and I was ready to get started! So, we went on our merry way and I hardly noticed my missing locks...until Sunday afternoon, then Monday morning. I asked the husband to look at the haircut and tell me what he thought. He didn't really know what he was looking for, so I had to wait until work Monday morning, so I could get a female's opinion. When I was brushing it this morning, I noticed some really long pieces, and some really short pieces. I was really nervous to see what someone could see from the back! So, I got the girls together and brushed it in front of them, so they could see it and comment on it at its straightest. I thought they could get some scissors and clean it up a little. They wouldn't do it. They told me I had to go back there and make them fix it. This is the sort of thing I hate! I know people that like this sort of thing, but not me!
So, I went over there on my lunch and explained my concerns. The girl that created my mess was not there, so that was comforting! I got a really nice girl that assured me she could fix whatever the problem was. I still had my hair in a clip, so nobody at work would ask if an alligator got a hold of my hair. When I took the clip out, the young lady asked if I wanted the layers straightened out. I told her that I didn't have layers. She brushed my hair out and said, "Oh my." That's not something you want your hairdresser (or gyno) saying to you when you can't see what it is they're looking at. So, I tell her to do whatever she has to do to get it straightened out. And, a couple more inches later, I have another new length. At least it will grow back!

The holiday lights at the oceanfront were really cool! I'm used to the lights in the city and in the Midwest. Just lots of lights and snowflakes on light poles. Not here! I can tell this is going to be a holiday like no other. I had gone down to the beach Saturday afternoon after my pedicure and manicure. I had flip flops on, and needed to feel sand between my toes. It was cold sand, so I didn't stay long. I did notice there was a lot of lights and the trail had just opened up. I convinced the husband that we should go see them that night, and he agreed. It was five bucks, and you got a free cd of Christmas tunes to listen to while you drove through the lights. What a deal! Then, they had this little area where you could drive through and get treats (hot cocoa, coffee, Christmas cookies, etc). So, 2 cookies and a bottle of water later, our holiday light tour cost $8, and we drove away with lots of laughs and a cd to keep. Well worth it! As I was saying, it was NOT like any light display I've ever seen. I did not realize that Christmas was so much about fish and sea creatures. Well, it is if you live in such a close proximity to such a large body of water. We were half-way through the displays (which stretched 34+ blocks), and I had yet to see a nativity scene. I had seen fish, crabs, whales, sharks, lots of Santa's, etc. One part of it was a shark's fin (in lights) gliding across the beach from the water towards the boardwalk, and when it reached the boardwalk (near your car) it was a big shark head with big teeth right there in front of you. Funny - yes. Holiday-like - NO! What sort of Christmas memory is triggered by Jaws? None! There was a lady replacing some bulbs in one of the seahorses, and I assumed she was a marine biologist. We got a huge kick out of that portion of the ride. Also, the lights are partly sponsored by Chick-fil-A, so tracks 1 and 11 are plugs for chicken nuggets. It really throws you off when you're singing Christmas carols really loudly to your husband, and then someone wants to talk about chicken. Overall, it was a very entertaining 30 minutes in our mildly boring weekend. We will drive through the lights again in a couple of weeks when Mom & Dad come visit, so I might take pictures! And, if I'm really lucky, Blogger will let me show you those pictures!!!

And the pretend award goes to....okay, let me open the envelope...ME!

Today's blog is going to be about giving thanks. It's that time of year, so I'm going to celebrate early! Just for fun, I'm pretending to receive an award, and here's the speech I've prepared and tucked in between my girls (yes - along with the dryer sheet)...

First of all, I'd like to thank Stacey and Diva for keeping me going on this blog adventure. If it weren't for their comments, I would have quit blogging immediately after starting! I can't tell if other people are reading it or not, but I at least know they are because they always leave comments!
(SUBLIMINAL ADVERTISEMENT FOR COMMENTS. NOBODY WILL EVER NOTICE)

Jennifer, you're my bestest friend, and you have given me a lot of blog material to write about. When the goin gets tough, I'm going to have to blog about plinko dinko. Don't tell Danimal, though! :)

The girls at Lovely Nails (pronounced Ruvery Nails) for keeping my toes at their most beautifulness this summer! Even though you speak poor English, I still appreciate you.

Those people that sit around and write up those ridiculous email forwards that I read, then get mad about or worry about. Yesterday, I received one about not shopping at Wal Mart the day after Thanksgiving because a portion of their profits will be going towards a group that's trying to legalize same-sex marriage. It caused an uproar with my mother-in-law, because she forwarded it to a bunch of people, not realizing that one of those people is a supporter of the lesbian population, and the lesbian spokeswoman (who's married to my M-I-L's brother, by the way) emailed her back (actually "Replied All") and said some nasty things to my M-I-L (who could not hurt anyone's feelings if she tried - just like my husband/her son). So, yesterday, I was informed not to shop there, but today, I received an email saying that Wal Mart was going to do away with lawaway, so I should sign a petition to keep layaway. I've never used layaway, but I hate to see it go away-away. Hmmmm....
So, thank you idiot that had to get the senior citizens of the Midwest in such a pickle right before the holiday season! Way to go!

Thank you, Photo Funhouse! You allow me to create the most ridiculous images using my own photos! I've also put the husband's picture on a wanted poster, a milk carton, a cowboy's body, a baby's body, a surfer's body, an astronaut's body, etc. Here's my most prized creation:

Okay, so Blogger wants to be a big fat piece of shit today, so I cannot post this picture. Screw you, Blogger! I'm not thankful for you! I will post it later.

Gosh! Right in the middle of my big speech, someone has to screw everything up. I'm so flustered right now I can hardly blog.

Real fast -
Thank you Justin Timberlake for bringing Sexy Back. Thank you K Mart for your fine selection of Craftsman tools - it buys me a lot of time to look at all of Martha Stewart's goodies throughout the store while the husband stays occupied. Thank you autumn for bringing more hot, sweaty-ass weather in November. I can't thank the Pilgrims enough, but thank you Pilgrims for bringing Pumpkin Pie to our country. And, thank you Cool Whip for whipping up something so COOL! Thank you penguin parents for having penguin babies for me to dream about hugging. (The commercial break music starts, so I must talk faster) Thank you to The Cheesecake Factory for everything, Coldstone Creamery, New Balance sneakers, my Kirby vacuum for being so good at sucking up cat hair, thank you Tivo for always being there with my tv when I wasn't, thank you drunk driver that hit me and didn't kill me and for making me realizing that drunks are big fat idiots, (except for Keith Urban - I'll take his drunk ass home with me any night!) Thank you city of Virginia Beach for scaring the crap out of each and every child in this city prior to Halloween, and encouraging their parents to take them to local churches and malls to trick-or-treat. I had a crapload of razor and poison-free candy that had to be eaten by the husband and myself so it didn't go to waste. Thanks again! Thank you Virginia Beach (this is not a sarcastic one) for turning a pile of crap (trash, to be exact) into a beautiful park! Mt. Trashmore is just a gorgeous park that used to be a pile of trash, but not it has grass and a lake and trees and picnic tables and playgrounds and stuff. Awesome! Thank you to my "alternative lifestyle" friend for inviting me to be a part of your recipe chain letter. Yippee! Just what I wanted. A freaking chain letter!

Thank you all for listening to me accept my award for nothing. I started out with good intentions, but, just like I would have expected, it turned into sarcasm by the end. Oh, well.
Stay tuned for that picture...

I didn't have anything planned to write about today.

I just found out that Kristin's Papa died, so I'm busy thinking about her family and my Grandma that passed away this summer. The husband and I both lost our grandmothers within 3 weeks of each other a few months ago. It was a tough summer for us, but we got to make two trips back to Missouri and see family that we hadn't seen in a long time. (and I got to meet some of his family that I had never met) I knew ahead of time what the future held for my Grandma, so I got to go back and help take care of her a few weeks before she died. It was the best few days of my life! I got to see aunts and uncles step up and act like adults for the first time. I got to see Grandma relax and let others take care of her, instead of her take care of everyone else. We all made jokes and laughed like never before. We ate like hogs and enjoyed every minute of it! There were stressful moments and there were moments when she was in so much pain that we all wanted it to just happen right then. I was in Virginia when it did happen, but she was surrounded by my parents and a half-dozen or so more family members. I heard it was a really peaceful moment, and it happened in her home, so she wouldn't have wanted it any other way. Her children and families took turns spending days and nights at her house taking care of her in the months prior to her death. She had taken such good care of everyone else, that nobody questioned what to do when it was her that was in need. She was obviously a special lady! I had so many memories and so many thoughts I wanted to share with everyone, so I wrote them down. I had already decided that I would speak at her funeral, even though I knew it would be hard. I knew I could do it, though. My Grandma survived the loss of her husband (the father of her children), a son during Vietnam, and then her second husband. She lost her first husband when my father was just two. He was the youngest - and a twin. She had seven children and she was a single parent. If I wasn't able to talk about her in front of those that loved her most, then I wasn't nearly as strong as she was! I compiled some of my favorite memories (along with my cousin who spent as much of her childhood at Grandma's house as I did) We were very close to Grandma. Of her 30+ grandchildren, we were probably the closest to her. We could giggle and crack jokes with her non-stop, no matter what was going on around us!
Here's what I said at her funeral...

For those of you that do not know me, I am the favorite grandchild. Okay, so I
was the only one that ever said that. (Grandma never corrected me, though) Today, I just want to share a few memories and lessons I've taken from getting to know my Grandma Irene.

Grandma lived a remarkable life. One that inspired me greatly. Her happy demeanor
made her a wonderful person to know. She was patient and generous with her time
and love. To know her was to love her.

I believe that all the lessons I ever needed to know, I learned from Grandma Irene.
I will share some of them with you today, and I hope they bring a smile to your
face.

Grandma taught me:

* The more, the merrier! There will always be enough food on the table for 2 or
3, make that 5 or 6 more people. If you know someone that hasn't eaten yet, bring
them with you! No invitation necessary!

* Size doesn't matter! Even though Grandma's house was small, it never met
its maximum capacity; there was always enough room for a few more relatives! When
I explain Christmas with my family to my friends, I often compare Grandma's house
to a clown car.

* I also learned about teamwork. When the cousins work together, it's
amazing what they can accomplish. If you thought that we couldn't get the neighbor's
fat cat in a grocery sack, oh yes we can! While learning about teamwork during
this activity, us girls taught one of the boys a lesson or two. When two of us
girls put our heads together, DO NOT trust us, especially when we utter the
words, "Come on, just do it" Not only did we get that big cat in the sack,
we convinced one of the boys that it was a wild animal, and he should
open the sack and let it out.

* One of my favorite lessons is that we should all be practical. We didn't need
a snowsled as long as we had a Hefty sack to sit in and slide down the hill on the
snow. Being practical also comes into play with shoes. If you have to wear them,
go for the comfortable/inexpensive ones. And, when you catch them on sale, go ahead
and buy a pair in each color! But, shoes are always optional - I learned this from
Grandma, too!

* Work hard, and then play hard! I remember helping rake leaves in the fall, and
then getting to jump in them before they were burned. We always looked forward to this!

* Grandma was proud of our talents and thought we were all stars. Whether we sang
out loud (there were exceptions to this one) or used sign language to sing a song
(I think there were times when she wished more of her family would have sang using
sign language), danced a jig in the middle of her living room, or listened to the
grandsons talk about a successful hunting or fishing expedition, Grandma loved getting
to see us showcase our talents. Her living room was sort of our stage.

* Sometimes, you do get a second chance. During a big snowstorm, a few of us got
snowed in while spending the night at Grandma's house. KY3 (our local tv station) drove by, but didn't stop. We thought our big television debut had passed us by. Then, we noticed them
turning around down the road. Something must have caught their attention, and they
came back and filmed us building our ridiculous snowman. Our big appearance lasted
probably 5 seconds, but Grandma was still really proud of us!

* Grandma taught me that reading can be fun. When I was in my early teens, I'd
sit and read the personal ads from the back of the Penny Power to Grandma. We'd
giggle at the goofy things they said, and then decide together which one sounded
the best. A couple of weeks ago, I was helping take care of her and her hip started
hurting. I went in her bedroom and rubbed it for a while, then sat down on the
couch by her bed to wait for her to go back to sleep, just in case she needed me
again. She closed her eyes for a few moments, then opened one eye and told me that
I didn't have to watch her sleep, I could go read a book or something. This reconfirmed
Grandma's passion for reading.

I learned so many things from Grandma, but the greatest of all is Love. Treat your friends
and neighbors like they're family

Grandma was truly the rock of our family. Always taking care of everyone and worried
that you didn't have everything that you needed. And, you were guaranteed to
always leave her house full! Whether it was biscuits and gravy or macaroni and
cheese from a box, it always tasted better at Grandma's house.

I'll miss the warmth she extended to everyone she met.

This past Tuesday it was time for Grandma to say goodbye to us for now, and today we all
gather to remember the life of an amazing woman. Just as I expected, I know that
as I leave here today and say goodbye, I will leave Grandma feeling full. Not
with biscuits and gravy, but with memories I have with her and the strength and
love she has shown over the years.

I'm sure she's kicked her feet up and made herself at home by now! Her funeral was perfect! They played a slideshow of pictures from her life with the Brad Paisley/Dolly Parton song "When I get where I'm goin" playing in the background. What a perfect song! We all hugged and laughed and ate like hogs afterwards because, well, that's just something our family does. That's how we commemorate any occasion. It was really a celebration of her life and her family and all that we've taken from knowing and loving her. I don't know of another family like ours. They're one-of-a-kind! We all know within minutes of an illness, troubles, or even a bad case of gas. The family is a communication system in itself! You gotta love 'em!

I hope that Kristin's family feels the feeling of peace that mine did when we lost my Grandma! I know that her Papa is really special and I'm thinking about them right now.

Blog Quickie

Last night, I was reading a story in the Ladies Home Journal about a massive vow renewal. I asked the husband if he would ever want to re-do our vows. He looked at me very seriously and said, "Honey, I don't even remember what they were."
Bless his little heart!

Back to my not-so-magical reality!

The husband and I returned yesterday from our little Orlando vacation. Wow! I sort of forgot that it was cool and fally here. (Yeah, I said fally!)
I'm going to sum up our trip as much as I can. It was very magical and entertaining and just a wonderful way to celebrate our 5 entertaining years of marraige together!
Thursday evening (about 8 hours before we thought we were flying out), we realized that the flights we had listed ourselves on was overbooked. This is the situation airline employees often get themselves into! It really sucks because you can hardly ever plan a vacation in advance. If you book a hotel and you don't get on the plane, then you're stuck paying for the room that you don't even see. So, these Norfolk to Charlotte to Orlando flights turned into Newport News to Charlotte to Tampa flights. That's an extra hour to get to the airport that isn't the closest to us, then an hour and a half to get to our hotel in Orlando. We have a friend that recently moved to Tampa, so we added a visit to her in our schedule. Then, she added dinner with her into our schedule. So, we didn't get to Orlando until midnight as opposed to noon, which was in our original plan. We're pretty flexible, though. So, we get our rental car in Tampa. We drove to the university to surprise our friend, who was very excited and surprised. This was about 3:30 in the afternoon. She told us we should stick around and have dinner with her. She has been living in a hotel by herself for a couple of weeks, so we decided to go for it. Plus, we were hungry like wolves! We should have known that she would pick the least appealing restaurant to us. Yep! She thought that we should be exposed to sushi. That's raw fish. That's for people struggling to survive. (Sort of in the same category as Beanie Weenies and Vienna sausages!) I love fish! I have it often. I have it cooked, though. BIG difference! I was going to be a big girl, and I spent the moments prior to the raw fish going in my mouth patting my husband's knee, because he's not the fish fan that I am. I really thought I would be okay, but he would need a little convincing. Now reverse that for the real story! He took the first bite and did okay. I went next, and my gagger went into high gear. I drank lots of water and got it down, but it was tough. That was tuna, and I was told that the shrimp rolls would be better for me (the shrimp was cooked). Nope! My gagger was trying to reject everything then. Even water was difficult to keep down. I quit after that! We made the meal a progressive one, so we moved on to the next restaurant. It was an "eclectic eatery" with lots of interesting choices. I chose a porktheotherwhitemeat dish, because I knew that would satisfy me after my poor choice of eating like a Survivor during the appetizer course! I was right! I got lots of water and everything stayed down! (I never actually puked, but my non-puking "puker muscle" wanted to deny everything I tried to eat in that restaurant) We finished at the Cheesecake Factory for dessert. Everything was really yummy, and we got outdoor seating for 2 out of 3 of the courses, so that was nice! The weather was perfect! We drove on to Orlando, and arrived at our hotel just before midnight.
Saturday morning, we got up, had breakfast, and went to Sea World. I was looking forward to this, because I had heard about this penguin exhibit they have, and I am a huge penguin fan! I was expecting to have a good day, but I had a GREAT day! I loved Sea World! All of the exhibits were amazing, and the shows were awesome! I even got tears in my eyes during Shamu's show! I've honestly never seen anything like it! I even made the husband stand in line to purchase two small raw fish for $5 (the second raw fish purchase in two days), except we fed it to dolphins instead of choking it down ourselves this time. We got to pet dolphins and feed them. It was so worth the $5! I tried to put a price on different exhibits and experiences throughout the day, and the total exceeded the ticket price, believe it or not! If we lived closer, I would be a season passholder!
We left there and had dinner at a less than spectacular restaurant, Dixie Crossroads. It was horrible service and a very long wait to get our food. I would never go back!
We woke up Sunday morning and had to pack up our stuff to go to The Swan at Disney World. We got there too early to check in, but they held our bags for us while we went on over to Magic Kingdom. The bellman was less than magical, so the day didn't start out as good as Sea World. He had a negative impact on my value for the day. He set me back about $3 for his attitude, so prior to the ticket being purchased, I was at -$3. Luckily, my future had a set of adult mouse ears in it to help that value increase to the positive side! We watched the afternoon parade, the evening light parade and the fireworks show, which were all amazing! I got to see all of my favorite characters! We went to the Haunted Mansion, which was really cool, we rode Space Mountain (twice) and had permanent smiles on our faces through the entire ride! We also went to the Phil Har Magic 3-D show, and it was one of the coolest things ever! We got in the front row, because that is something that I do on occasion, because I think it sounds like a good idea. I asked for front row once at Dixie Stampede, not thinking about the fact that the place is dark, you're eating food, and the building is full of horse crap which may or may not be slung up into your bowl of soup/drink/chicken/apple turnover at some point during your meal. I was sitting beside an older man, who really thought he could grab a 3-D object, if only he kept trying. His arms were out in front of him the entire time, reaching and grabbing and saying, "That's amazing...just amazing!" I was saying the same thing, but I wasn't grabbing anything. Since we were staying at a Disney Resort, we were able to enjoy "Extra Magic Hours" which were until midnight Sunday night. We left right about midnight, and I'm sure we got our our money's worth out of the visit! It was very magical, but I'm not convinced Mickey was any more magical than Shamu. That darn whale is very magical!
As you would expect, the two of us had a few hilarious moments during our adventure to Florida! I will share the most entertaining with you...
As we were sitting in the Orlando Airport, I was a little snotty and felt a slight cold coming over me. This feeling sometimes brings on "loogies" in my throat. Well, I had one in my mouth and HAD to get rid of it ASAP! I had a napkin, so I thought that I would be tactful and act like I was blowing my nose, but actually rid myself of this awful snotwad that was hanging out in my mouth. (There's nothing tactful about this story, if you hadn't noticed) So, I just sort of held my mouth open and let the loogie fall out into the napkin. I wiped my chin off and turned to the husband (who had no idea about my problem or my plan to take care of it). I asked him if there was anything on my face. This is something I always do after I've removed something slimy from my person and he's handy. He gave me this look and said there was nothing on my face, "but what the hell is that on your shirt?" I looked down, and there it was. The entire loogie did not make it into the napkin, and it was sitting on my shirt for the world to see. I said that I didn't have my Tide pen with me, and he made some snotty remark that I needed a damn mop and bucket to clean up that mess. We both got tickled, and I was laughing (and quite possibly snorting) right there in the middle of the airport. We laughed until we boarded. Then, we got split up on the plane, and I continued to giggle in spurts and people were looking at me like I was touched. If only I could have told them the story, they would have understood! (maybe)

Random Silliness

* I don't like totem poles at all. They sort of scare me.

* I have too many houseplants, but I still buy more.

* I am a spellaholic. I can't stop spelling. It's a genetic disorder I got from my mother. I wish I could stop spelling, but I can't. If I pull up to a stop sign, my brain is saying S-T-O-P. Stop. My life is a spelling bee and I'm the only contestant. It's slightly bothersome.

* I feel "normal" when I wear high heels. I'm now immune to the pain they may cause my doggies, but I can't stop wearing them. H-I-G-H H-E-E-L-S. High heels. Must wear them.

* I get an upset stomach when I fly. I'm not immune to the yucky feeling of being in the air with a bunch of germy strangers. At least I have my high heels on when I fly! They make me feel better. (The husband's company has a dress code when flying, so we must dress up when we fly anywhere. It sucks!)

* I giggle at the wrong moment sometimes and can't help it. The husband and I went to a group hypnotist once, and we kept opening our eyes and peeking at the other and giggling. It was a weight loss/stop smoking thing. I was fat and he was a smoker. We left there that night fat and smoky. I'm still fat, but he stopped smoking the night before our wedding, because he remembered me saying when were dating that I would never marry a smoker. Of course, I would get over that because he's precious, but he quit for me. It will be five years this Sunday!

* I will buy the biggest laundry detergent bottle for the rest of my life. I don't care if they have an ultra or a mega-ultra version. I think they're full of crap! Why are they adding a bunch of water or whatever to make it look like more than it is? Why didn't they make ultra to begin with, so we didn't have to lug around big bottles of detergent for all these years? I'm going to show them! I'm going to keep buying the big-ass bottles of the diluted version.

* I like to keep a dryer sheet in between my cleavage. ??? It smells good, and each time I get a whiff of it, it makes me happy. I like nice smells, and perfume is for other people. After you put it on, you can't smell it yourself. A dryer sheet in the cleavage - not that's a gift you can give yourself. DISCLAIMER: Avoid this in extreme humidity and on rainy days!!! The girls WILL stick together!

* I'm very resourceful. The other day, I was out of town for work. I packed a shirt that was low-cut, and I always wear a black tank top under it. I forgot to pack the tank top. I did have an extra black sock (don't know why, but I was glad I did), so I stuffed it in my bra to sort of stretch across my cleavage, and you would have never guessed it was a damn sock! I was so proud of it!

* I have a 5-year supply of plus-sized maxi pads thanks to my husband being such a good sport!

* I'm going to Disneyworld for the first time at age 26 in two days!!!

* My face turns red when I see male dancers. I went to the Chippendale show once, and my face was bright red the entire evening! I was at a club one night, and some chick was celebrating her 21st birthday, and her friends had hired a stripper for her. My face was so much brighter than hers! I can't help it!

* I prefer breakfast for any meal! We often have breakfast for dinner!

* I really like old people!

* I eat fish at least twice a week.

* My husband gets a kick out of stupid, offensive cartoons. I let him watch them, because he quietly sits through America's Next Top Model for me. I cringe when he laughs at a cartoon where bears are being stabbed through the chest with candy canes. I have a vivid imagination, but this is freaking insane!

* I hate loud things. Everything must be at a reasonable volume for me to be comfortable.

* I bought an "Easy Button" through my company's Staples account. Thanks super-wealthy, private, for-profit university - you're the best! It's the funniest/most annoying thing ever! You push it, and this irritating voice says, "NOW THAT WAS EASY!" I let everyone push it, and I often push it after a simple task is finished. I overheard one of my coworkers say to another, "...if she pushes that stupid thing one more time..." I missed the rest of the comment. Oh, well. I guess I'll have to wait and see what she's planning on doing. But, when I offered the button to her to push, she accepted the invitation and pushed it - and smiled. I might start locking it in my drawer - just in case her intentions are not in the best interest of me and my easy button!

* I belch and fart constantly!

* I'm often full of shit! Not literally. Well, okay - literally, too. But, we have a couple of new coworkers, and I convinced one of them that we have belching contests after we eat pizza. Another coworker went along with it and told the new guy not to even bother because I always won. We had him going, and he even showed up at the secluded location to participate. I liked his team spirit!

* My boss treats me like a child sometimes. Today, we were at lunch, and he mentioned that he couldn't take me anywhere (but he was laughing at the time, so I assume it will have very little, if any, effect on my annual review). He was the dumbass that wanted to go to Johnny Rockets for lunch. I laughed uncontrollably when he told me that's where he wanted to go. I had a feeling he didn't know what was in store! The servers do stupid little dances there and they're less than enthusiastic about it, which makes it highly amusing! When the husband and I were there, they did a dance to "Stayin Alive" and we could hardly eat we were so cracked up. He said he wasn't aware of the dancing during the meal, but still wanted to go. He didn't believe me that they actually danced in front of everyone. After the meal, I decided to ask our waitress if they were going to dance. She said they did each time their songs come on. I put four nickels in the jukebox, but none of the songs I picked were "their songs" I said I wasn't leaving until they danced. Eventually, he made me get up to go back to work, but I was pissed. They never did dance. I needed to prove to him that they did dance, and they dance in the most horrific manner possible! It's unbelievable! I might dance better than them....nah, but I would also not accept a job where I had to dance in front of paying customers!