LAZY GROCERY SHOPPING

Today, I did homework most of the day, so I barely even got out of the house for something funny to happen. I needed to stay in and get some things done, but I needed groceries. So, the busy/lazy thang that I am ordered her groceries online for the second time in her life. The first time was a horrible experience, and the grocery store sent me a survey afterwards, so I was honest. The little dirtbags had left out all of my produce, triggering a second trip to the store for their mistake. Of course I was ticked! So, they begged me to give it another shot and I did. No matter how much more begging they do, I'm not doing it anymore! It sucks! So, I spend about an hour browsing their website for everything healthy and Weight Watchers I could find. The most exciting part was some Weight Watchers blueberry muffins and double chocolate muffins. I couldn't wait to get my hands on them! Well, the husband says he will ride with me to the store to pick up the groceries. When you get there, there's a button you push and you just tell them your name. It's like a Sonic twist on the grocery store. The young man with our groceries was obviously in a very bad mood. The husband and I grinned at each other because we shouldn't do things like this, but it was funny. Plus, we smile at each other a lot because we can sort of read each other's thoughts, and they're usually really funny thoughts. We realize this service is probably for the disabled or elderly or for those parents with small children that cannot behave in grocery store settings. But, it could also be for the double full-time employee/student couple, and that's us! Plus, if I don't click on Snacks/Cookies, I'm not tempted by anything I shouldn't, and all of the fruits and vegetables look so pretty in the pictures! I just search "Weight Watchers," and everything they list I can have! Except they now make Weight Watchers cooking spray. What? That's just silly! So, we got home and started emptying the sacks. Wouldn't you know that the package of strawberries I got was ROTTEN! Yeah, I'm fat and on a diet (actually, going to be as soon as I get fresh strawberries to get this damn diet off to a good start), but you don't give the girl with a dozen Smart Ones frozen dinners rotten strawberries! And, the rotten strawberry slime is on every other piece of produce I bought. I clean it up a little and see that we have a voice mail on the home phone. I call in to retrieve my message. It's that danged ol' grocery store to apologize for not having ANY Weight Watchers muffins in stock. I got a lump in my throat as I listened. My gosh! I guess the diet will not start until I get nice, fresh strawberries and plenty of low-fat muffins to waste my points on. Weight Watchers is great! I really think it will work, because I'm a tad bit more excited about it this time, and I know more about it than the last time! It's sort of like a night at the arcade, just before you go home. You have a pocket full of tickets(points), and you can get prizes(food) with them, but not the really good prizes(food), because you don't have that many tickets (points). But, in this case, I can't ask the husband for some of his points so I can have that thing I really want, but don't need. Maybe by tomorrow, I can get the items necessary to get this diet off to a good start like I want to. Keep in mind, there is a HUGE diet speedbump coming up in just 6 days - the Virginia State Fair. YIKES! I can smell a points overload in my near future! Maybe next Saturday will be "Diet Eve" where I eat everything I can get my hands on. I can already picture a turkey leg in one hand and cotton candy in the other hand, and I'll make the husband hold the hot dog and fresh squeezed lemonade with his two hands! MWAH HA HA! Fun time at the fair...coming right up!!!