Two days in a row!!! (and, I'm not going to talk about poop today)

No, your eyes aren't lying (Hips don't lie either, huh BFF Shakira?)

I'm really on a roll, now! I function best in high-stress mode, and that time is now! Midterms are next week, I finally got my thank you cards out from Christmas, Mt. Dirty Clothes is slowly turning into Mt. Clean Clothes, work is chaos, yet I still have time to blog. I think it's just the amount of material I accumulate during times like this!

Here's my day:
(husband sleeps in, because he's off on Mondays and Tuesdays) I start my day jealous of him all warm and sleeping in, even though Saturday and Sunday it was the other way around.
So, this girl I work with constantly talks about food. Food she likes. Food she cooks. Food she eats. Food she thinks about. UGH! I do not have time to listen to someone talk about food all the time! The routine goes like so:
When we see each other in the morning, she normally recaps what she had for dinner the previous night (Some days it's takeout, some days it's home cooked. If it's takeout, I will hear the location of the restaurant and any specialties they had/may have. If it's home cooked, I will hear about the ingredients and cooking method. "Chef" is very thorough!)
Next, she will tell me what she brought for lunch, or what she's going to go get for lunch.
Then, chances are, she'll mention what she's having for dinner that evening, and possibly the following evening, too.

Today's conversation:

Me: Good morning!
Chef: Hi. How are you?
Me: Fine. Did you have a good weekend?
Chef: Yeah. Yesterday, I made chili. It was so good! I brought some for lunch today. Then, she opens her desk drawer and pulls out a Ziploc bag with two pieces of bread in it. See, I brought bread to go with it. (holds up the bag)
Me: I see that. (why in the hell would I not believe someone when they tell me that they brought bread to have with their lunch? I'm a very trusting person. If you tell me you brought an entire loaf of bread to have with your bowl of chili, I'll believe you. You don't have to show me!)
I try to slowly step away toward my office before I scream (not scream for ice cream, either)
Chef: I marinated some chicken breasts for dinner tonight.
Me: That sounds good. (How did "How was your weekend" turn into the Chef Family weekly dinner menu?)
I got out of there without screaming, but it still left me feeling disturbed.

My own lunch story (Uh-oh, I feel a poop story coming on. Sorry for anyone who really thought I could post without a poop/fart story)

My coworker, Doggie Mama, is out of town for a few days. She asked me to stop by her apartment today on my lunch to walk her bulldog. He's a nice dog and all, but he's: a) a humper, and b) slobbery. Did I mention he's a bulldog? That's definitely not my favorite breed. I like all dogs, but the short, chubby, slobbery type is not my type of dog. Child - yes. Dog - no. So, I go over there and I take him for a walk. The entire time I've got the feeling of a really proud parent. My cat, Jackson, is so well mannered, and this bulldog makes me think of him and how wonderful he is! He doesn't jump up on people, he is very friendly and leaves people alone if they want to be left alone. I have started to believe this was normal pet behavior. Silly Carrie! I hope and pray that he just needs to pee and not poo. Oh, no! He's saved a couple of days of crap in that wrinkly body to let out while a stranger was walking him, because he knows she's really not a fan of unfamiliar animal poo (is anyone?). So, he unloads a big dump to make any human jealous. Then, I must use a little puppy poopy bag thing to pick up this strange animal's pile of crap. Oh my! I can't believe I had to do that. I did do it, but I didn't like it! I felt icky for the rest of the day.

Well, throw in a few more random situations (hardly as amusing or entertaining as Chef or doggie poo), and you've got my Monday! Yippee! I can't wait for tomorrow!