THE ONE WHERE I LIE ABOUT MY NAME

So, today was spent pretty much sleeping and just being lazy. I've been working long hours, so I think I deserved it, but I'm just tired from doing nothing now. I did do one load of laundry and one load of dishes. We use paper plates most of the time, so when we run out of forks and/or cups, it's time to do dishes. I also cleaned out our little betta fish tank. I told the husband that I'm going to change his name from Santa Claus to Oscar the Grouch because he acted as though he liked his dirty water better than the clean water. Silly fish!

We went to the Olive Garden tonight. It's the third time in 10 days. What can I say? We really like that place. It's the salad for me, but the husband loves the soup. I had the soup and salad, while he had soup and something with grilled chicken and vegetables. It smelled yummy whatever it was. Of course, there were a few funny things that happened, because we can't go anywhere and not get a story out of it. So, the hostess asked us our "party" information. Party of 2, first available (I don't know why I said this...I never say this unless the place is packed, and it wasn't packed.) Then, she asked for my name. If I say Carrie, then they're going to ask how to spell it, and I find that question so dumb. Who cares how I spell it! You can spell it however in the hell you want. I have a stupid buzzer in my hand, so you are never going to even say my name. It could be with a C or a K - I don't care. One day, a girl at Starbucks caught me lying about the spelling of my name. Do you think I care? No. I'll continue lying about my name and its spelling! Forever! So, I told the hostess my name was CJ, because NOBODY is going to ask how to spell that. She said, "What?" It was like she knew that wasn't really the name I go by, so I had to repeat it. Gosh! (My initials are CJ)
So, at Starbucks a couple months ago, the lady asked for my name so she could write it on my cup. She said, "with a K?" and I replied yes. She said, "K-A-R-I?" and I said, "Yes!" (with a smile) So, she handed the cup to the barista (hee hee, that's a funny name) and she took my payment, which happened to be my check card - with my name spelled correctly. She laughed and asked why I didn't correct her when she wrote my name on the cup. I told her that I didn't really care how they spelled it, and whatever someone says, I just agree and go with it. She laughed and said that she was embarrassed and I should be ashamed of myself for letting people think they were right. I think it's nice of me to let people believe they're right - even when they're not as long as it's not breaking the law or hurting anyone. I honestly think it's perfectly fine. I will always correct people for spelling my last name wrong, but I'll let them spell my first name however they want!
Back to the Olive Garden - The second funny thing that happened is we were seated by those people that think the Olive Garden is a 10th wedding anniversary kind of place. Like, put on your good shoes and let's go to the Olive Garden! It was a husband, wife and teenager (like barely a teenager - 13 or 14). The husband was just a man. Nothing funny about him (except his wife) and nothing to write about. The daughter had recently discovered makeup, and had not gotten the proper training on eyeliner just yet, but she still has some time before she loses her virginity in the back of a pickup truck. By then, I think she will have polished her eyelining skills. The wife. Now that's the funny one! She had hair like I don't know what. She could have been at the beach all day for all I know. That's why I'm going to excuse her hair. I'll excuse everything...except for her shirt! She was wearing a flannel-type shirt with the sleeves cut completely off. Like she should be a dude on the Blue Collar Comedy show. The sleeves were all frayed and everything. It was not really a motherly shirt! They got their check, and sent the cash with the waiter in the little black folder. He returned and just layed the folder on the table and walked off. I guess Mrs. Foxworthy didn't feel comfortable leaving a few bucks on the table or something, because she sent Mr. Foxworthy and Little Foxworthy on to the truck, and she waited patiently for at least 7 or 8 minutes for the waiter to walk by and she handed the little black folder to him to make sure it was in good hands before she left the fine dining establishment. Maybe I trust people more than I should, but I always leave it on the table and walk off. I've never even thought about it. Anyways, the husband and I got a good kick out of it for some reason. We left there and went by our house to put on long sleeves before heading down to the oceanfront for some music. Jars of Clay and Smashmouth were playing tonight. We got down there in time for some local band to play. The husband participated in the consumption of adult beverages while I played cab driver. I'm not really much of a drinker, so being a cabbie is just fine with me! We listened to Jars of Clay and watched people for a few hours. The husband has really funny things to say while he's consuming his adult malt beverage of choice. We thought there were fireworks somewhere, but we couldn't see them. He said it was just mysterious bangs. Then, he said, "Wait a minute, mysterious bangs are when your bangs hang down in your face and cover one of your eyes. Those must be mysterious booms we're hearing." We giggled the entire time, made a quick stop at Starbucks, then drove back home.
I don't know if it was beer or not talking the other day on behalf of the husband, but we were talking about square dancing and clogging. I said his aunt square danced, and he said that she was a clogger, not a square dancer. He added that I was a pretty good clogger, too. I frowned and said I barely knew how to square dance, and I definitely didn't know how to clog. Pretend Riverdance - yes. Clog - no. He said that he had known quite a few instances where I clogged. Then, I realized that he meant *clog: to overwhelm a plumbing system*. Oh, why yes, I am a prize-winning clogger. I blame it on my publicpoo-phobia. Because I can't make deposits just anywhere, I have to do it when I can at home. Before the husband and I were actually married, we went to St. Louis for a couple of days for one of his first job interviews. We stayed at this brand new, middle-class hotel. The lobby area was still under construction. My stomach was like a lava lamp during the drive up there. So, when we got to the hotel, I HAD to go. Well, I overwhelmed the plumbing, and started laughing uncontrollably. I was crying I was laughing so hard. The husband didn't find it that funny. He had to call the front desk to let them know what had happened. I assumed they would bring a plunger to our room. Instead, they told him they had a plunger at the front desk, and he was welcome to come and get it. After he hung up, we both started cracking up. I told him what a wonderful person he was for doing this, but I was still laughing. He gathered the courage to go down there. We were about as far from the elevator as possible. So, he had to walk WAY down the hall to the elevator, then ride the elevator down, go to the front desk, admit that he was the hotel "clogger" and get the dang plunger. I laughed the entire time he was gone! I kept peeking down the hallway to see if he was coming back yet. I assumed the thing would be a little discreet or something. No way! He looked like a clogging hobo. It was the wooden stick with a Walmart sack tied around the end. He even threw it over his shoulder when he got closer to our room. It was one of the funniest moments ever! We still laugh about it!
I'm really laughing out loud just writing this one! I hope blogging continues to be this funny! What a great way to remember all of the funny things that happen to us throughout our lives! I think I will print out all of my blogs and give them to the husband in 5 years as we celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary at the Olive Garden while wearing our good shoes!

A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME

So, I have been thinking about how to even start my blog for a month now. I've decided to just make it random thoughts to introduce myself.

I'm originally from Southwest Missouri.

I've been married for almost five years.

I currently live just a few minutes away from the Atlantic Ocean on the Virginia coast.

I hate when people can't spell.

95% of the time, I find farting and belching hilarious. But, I'm still a girlie-girl for the most part.

I love bare minerals and new shampoos!

I love each season of the year equally. They each have their perks!

I work full-time, go to school full-time, my husband works full-time, he goes to school full-time. We don't have kids, and I guess the last sentence pretty much explains why.

I'm not much of a movie person. Don't get me wrong, I like them. It's just that I don't really remember them after I leave the theater/living room moments after watching them. I don't know why. I cannot quote movies. If you quote a movie, I won't know what you're talking about.

I have a cat and want a dog, also. The husband says no. I think it would be a great gift (for him, but me actually), so maybe for Christmas, I will get him that dog that he's not been wanting. Hee hee.

I can't do #2 in a public restroom (unless my only choice is between a foreign toilet and my panties - but I can count on one hand how many times I've had to venture in that nasty yucky forbidden place to poo. Given I build a really nice, thick nest, I can pee there for some reason.

I have the greatest husband in the world. Sometimes, I make him do crazy things for my entertainment and sometimes he goes along with it.
Examples:
1. I think it's really funny when he makes different robotic sounds while I play the robot and move in sync with the sounds. It's even more fun than it sounds. I prefer standing on the bed when I play this. It doesn't change the game, but it reminds me of the robot man that's painted silver that stands on a silver platform at the Times Square subway station. The bed is just my silver platform.
2. He does this really crappy impression of a hermit crab eating with both hands. He's so not enthusiastic about doing it, and that makes it really funny for some reason. Because of this, I like for him to do it, but he doesn't like to.
3. He's like our personal Director of Homeland Security. He's constantly wanting to really get prepared for a local disaster (hurricane), which is really cute and sweet. But, being the Army veteran he is, he's even made me go into an Army surplus store with him to get information on MREs (those meals soldiers eat when they're away from civilization) They had them for sale, but they were $80 for 12 meals. To break this down, in an emergency, we could live on two meals a day each. This would last 3 days for us. 2 meals a day x 2 people x 3 days = 12 meals. My emergency preparedness includes one trip to Costco to get a couple cases of Ravioli or something. But, during a hurricane a few years ago, my method was not good! We were out of power for 3-4 days. Everything was closed, nobody could get ice to keep things cold, everything in our freezer/fridge was thawed and spoiled. We lived on chips and salsa, then found a McDonald's open about 30 minutes from where we lived. It sucked! We went to Sam's to get something (anything) to eat. I got Vienna sausages and Beanie Weenies. Keep in mind - both items were bought in bulk, of course. These two things I loved in childhood. I couldn't wait to crack a can open and enjoy such yumminess. This is the moment I realized I was a real-life adult. I hated both things so much I couldn't even get one bite down my throat. Luckily, hurricane season falls in late summer/fall, which is the peak of food drive season, too! I hope a bunch of less fortunate children got to enjoy my donation of Beanie Weenies and Vienna Sausages for weeks! I thew in some soups and tuna for the adults, because they shouldn't have to eat weenies and sausages! They're definitely kid/pet foods! I honestly don't know how my tastes have changed that much!
4. He is very protective of my food allergies, and that's so nice. There's actually a lot of nut-loving, Dr. Kevorkians out there that love sneaking nuts in anything and everything without telling you. There's a local deli that does not disclose the nuttiness of their food. If you ask for a chocolate chip cookie, they'll give you a chocolate chip and pecan cookie, because that's all they have. It's a scandal to remove us poor little allergic beings from this planet. I also think that nuts in your chicken salad is an unpleasant surprise! By the way, I'm allergic to peanuts, tree nuts, corn, oats, bananas and melon. It's really not as bad as it sounds.
5. He has decided he will go to Weight Watchers with me. I am really ready to get my weight off, and it is helpful if we're both allowed to eat the same foods. He's also conscious about weight, even though he doesn't have near the amount to take off that I do. But, he gave in and decided that he didn't want me to have to go by myself. I hate to tell him that I've decided to do Jazzercise instead. Just kidding - but I'm sure he would even do that with me! He's that great!

Okay, so there's SO many more reasons, but I'll add more later.

I like good country food! I think biscuits and gravy should be their own food group! The husband and I went to see Ricky Skaggs last week, and I realized that the bluegrass crowd is also the buffet crowd. So, I guess I'm a bluegrass/buffet kind of person. I realized that those are good people though. I think it's a good group to be associated with! I'd prefer to not look like I'm the buffet type, though.

Along the line of food, I won't get out of control on this subject (but I could), but a coworker's wife and I were talking about Washington, DC this afternoon before I left work. She got on the subject of restaurants and asked if the husband and I like Ethiopian food because there was an awesome Ethiopian restaurant in DC. I told her that I had never had any of their food before. She said it's bread and some dipping stuff or something. To be quite honest, I hardly listened to what she was even saying, because I was too busy thinking about why we would be eating their food. Don't they need to eat it? Either it's a really good diet to make you look like Calista Flockhart or we're taking all their food away from them. I have to think we're taking their food, so I don't really want to give that restaurant my business. If you've had Ethiopian food before, please let me know what it was like! I'd love to know!

I love reality television!

I have a new Jewish friend. Actually, my first Jewish friend. My best friend Jennifer wants an Asian friend, so now I'm going to help her since I've got my Jewish friend. I have an Asian friend, but Jennifer's never had one. I think everyone should have friends of all types! I think all of my categories now have people in them (there are always more spots available, though) Here's what I have so far:
bestest girlfriend
boyfriend (also known as the husband)
family friend
dramatic friend
selfish friend
non-selfish friend
mean friend
nice friend
mean friend that thinks she's nice (see also selfish friend)
Good Christian friend
non-believing friend
Jewish friend
gay friend
Asian friend
Middle-Eastern friend
military friend
Hispanic friend
long-distance friend
work friend
friend with child
friend with many children
couple friends (a couple - a friend each for me and the husband)
neighbor friend
email friend
high school friend
jealous friend
old friend
new friend
pretty friend
pretty on the inside friend
college friend
skinny friend
fat friend
skinny friend that thinks she's fat
fat friend that thinks she's skinny
friend that enjoys the beach as much as I do (see also bestest girlfriend)
school friend

(***I have more than one friend in each category. Except for the Jewish one. I'm sure I can hit the Jewish jackpot if I eventually meet his friends. Where I grew up, there weren't any Jewish people that I know of, so I've really never had the opportunity to make any Jewish friends - honest. I'm much more well-rounded now that I have made a Jewish friend.)

Okay, i think you've learned a little about me so far. If there's something I missed, let me know or just check back later!