Just when you thought I couldn't be more crude, I surprise the *crap* out of you!

I realize I have dropped the ball...again.

I don't even know if I can remember what's been going on. Here's a start:

My classes are crazy! We're wrapping things up in our current classes, and I have taken on the additional responsibility of helping a friend of mine get through Statistics class. I got through it last semester with an A, so he has recruited me for help after he dropped down to a D-. After two weeks, he almost has a B, so that's good news.

Work is busy! I had one student return from the Middle East this week on the USS Eisenhower, and one Navy Seal, a soldier and two sailors leaving next week. It's really sad to see them go, but they say it's their job and that's what they do. It's very touching how they accept the responsibility.

We missed Weight Watchers tonight (the first week I've missed) because I had to work late. I might go by there tomorrow just to weigh in.

I have a cold or sinus infection or something like that right now. It just snuck up on me and I look and feel pretty crappy. It's much better than my issues over the weekend! Those with weak stomachs or those who appreciate funny but gross stories, but are not in a setting that allows you to laugh out loud, please do not read the next paragraph!

So, the husband and I decided to go out on a date last Saturday night. I wore a sun dress and sandals and felt pretty darn cute. We went to a restaurant on the bay, and sat on the dock and had fresh fish and it was awesome. I felt just fine this whole time. We finish there and head to DQ on the oceanfront. We got some ice cream (using our 35 bonus points) while we sat at a picnic table. The husband had to use the restroom before we moved on to the next stop on our date - the grocery store. Well, I had let a little toot while he was in the restroom. Then, when he returned, I let one more little one. It just didn't feel right. So, I told him that I would be right back. I had to stop by the restroom before we left, just to make sure I still had clean panties. Well, I didn't. I totally sharted***. Not just once, but obviously twice. It wasn't as bad as it sounds, but it's still a shart. Because it wasn't that bad, I agreed to go on to the grocery store. When we got home, I was just fine. It was just a freak shart virus or something. Thank goodness I wasn't wearing my personalized panties! The morals of the story are:
1) Dresses are bad. Don't wear one if you don't have to. 2) Wear underwear! Think about what a nasty story I would have had if I didn't wear underwear that night. Eeewwww!

***A combination $hit/fart. It starts out as a fart, but it quickly turns into a solid/liquid before you can say "Oops! I crapped my pants!"

Yep - I think that I have crossed some sort of line with this post, but it's really too funny not to share! What's funny about sharting if everyone can't enjoy it with you?