Catching up...

I had a huge surprise last Thursday when my parents flew from Missouri to Virginia and DIDN'T TELL ME. The husband was in on it for quite some time, and they all pulled one over on me for the first time EVER!!! I had to work late on Thursday, so when I started home, I called the husband to see if he wanted me to pick something up for dinner. He said not to stop, because he had something special at home. He was working on a research paper, but I didn't put anything together like he didn't have time to cook anything, let along something "special." I assumed it was fish, because fish is special to me and I eat it every chance I get. Well, I was on the phone with my mom (which I had no idea she was in my house), and I told her that I was coming home and I had something "special" waiting for dinner. She told me to call her later and tell her what it was. I told her to just hold on a second, because I was walking in the door. When I opened the door, I said, "meatballs?" I looked at the husband and said, "you don't know how to make porcupine meatballs!" like the meatball snob that I am. Then, I noticed potatoes boiling as if they were soon going to be mashed potatoes. Real mashed potatoes, too? What? Then, with me still on the phone with her, my mom and dad come running out of the guest bedroom. I should have known that the husband couldn't make the family meatballs by himself. I can't believe that he actually kept a secret from me! We spent the weekend eating, shopping and just hanging out at the house. My Dad painted my cabinets, and they look way cool! Pictures are coming soon - I promise! We also took in some Dance Dance Revolution. Mom was pretty good, and Dad was really entertaining! He did better than I thought he would, though! We played Jeopardy, too. It was girls vs. boys (bitches vs. assbags to us), and the bitches totally kicked some tail! Then, when we hadn't beat them enough, we busted out the Cranium game and the bitches blew the assbags away! It was VERY entertaining! It was really scary when the husband and Dad could read each other's minds with the most ridiculous clues. My Dad had to make a clown out of clay. He just made some dorky looking shoes, and the husband guessed it right away. It was a really eerie moment that left Mom & I speechless. It was our first time playing that game and it was really fun!

Surprise!

I guess that I feel like I was surprised once, so the entire world is out there just to surprise me for my birthday. Today, my boss called me and told me that the entire office would be meeting at 11:30. I decided to be a couple of minutes late, so they could light the candles and such. I just knew they would all be there with party hats and noisemakers when I walked in the room. Nope. There were chairs lined up and my boss was standing at the front with notes. A real meeting? Just days before my 27th birthday? What? I thought this was going to be a party. So, I asked the secretary if I could borrow a pad of paper and a pen. I honestly thought I would be consuming cake at this moment, but I'm listening to my boss rattle about goals and crap? What the...? So, I giggled all the way back to my office and eventually fessed up to a member of my work alliance. She laughed and said that was so something that I would think of - a fake meeting to cover up my surprise party. What's so funny about that?
So, later in the day, the secretary called me and asked me to come up to the front of the office for a second. This time, I knew that it was my party. Our part-time secretary arrived with cake icing on her shirt. You can't hide a birthday party from me - eventually, I'll sniff out the party! So, I took the long hallway from my office, instead of the little shortcut. The office makes a big circle. I normally take the long hallway to avoid walking by my boss's office. It's just a habit at this point. I've learned all of the shortcuts to avoid him. Well, they weren't expecting that, and all of their backs were pointed towards me, because they were expecting me to come from the other direction, so I yelled, "SURPRISE!" HEE HEE! It was priceless! I got a cake and a card, and inside the card, my boss had stuck a few coupons in because he's such an asswipe. I would have rather had a ream of paper or something. But, two Krispy Kreme Valentines for free donuts, and two coupons for free dessert at some bar down on the oceanfront with the purchase of an entree? What? Please, just give me a handful of Post-It's or something. I would even go for a highlighter and some file folders or something. Don't dig through your wallet and just pull something out (unless it's green). Give me a break! I'm still in shock that, for my birthday, I was given regifted coupons. I know that there's a rule against regifting coupons! There has to be! I don't even think it's acceptable to give coupons as a gift for any occasion. Can anyone clarify this for me? Also, is it in good taste to put two Valentine cards for free donuts in a birthday card approximately 1 month and 11 days after Valentine's Day? Keep in mind, I received one of these on Valentine's Day, and was a little offended then, but our janitor seemed pleased when I gave it to him later that day with the nasty box of conversation hearts that accompanied it. Hello?

So, in the past week, I have learned that I'm:
1. a meatball snob, and
2. a selfish birthday girl that feels she's above receiving regifted coupons as actual birthday gifts

Is that bad? Are my standards set too high?