Random Shenanigans

This is coming to you right in the middle of my "Best Week Ever" that I have been looking forward to for months. Actually, it's just been weeks that I've been talking about this particular period of my life, but it seems like I've been excited about it forever. Tomorrow night is George Strait. Ya know, the concert, then the post-concert whatever. Georgie-poo might ask me to follow him to his tour bus so he can autograph my "no-no spot" and stuff. I'm not sure I'll have time, but I think I might. We (the husband and I) are actually going with his coworker and his friend. They are both males, and I suspect this coworker of my husband's is a cheap-ass. This is just a "hunch" I have. I think this because when the husband and I mentioned stopping somewhere during the 2-hour drive to get a bite to eat, he mentioned a picnic. He (cheap coworker) is bringing a 20-piece bucket of chicken (for four people) to eat on the tailgate before the concert. Keep in mind, this concert is in a downtown area of a major East Coast city. It's not like at an outdoor ampitheater with nice weather. So, we will be sitting on the tailgate of my Jeep in freezing-ass weather, eating cold fried chicken...and lots of it. Have I ever mentioned that I don't like fried chicken? Well, I don't. I like chicken livers and chicken strips, but I just don't like fried chicken. I haven't liked fried chicken for as long as I can remember. And, the reason for the fried chicken picnic? This coworker's friend's girlfriend works at a chicken joint on the boulevard and is going to give it to him for free. Duh! You would think that I would appreciate some free chicken, but I don't. Not at all. Not chicken for cheap, not chicken in my Jeep. Not by the Colonel, not in a urinal. No finger lickin, no fried chicken! So, I'll probably be a bitch and pack some pita chips and hummus for myself. Or, I could get revenge and pack myself a can of pork n' beans and a can opener. And eat all of them by myself. HA HA HA! I'm really excited about the concert, though! I can't wait! I took Friday off to recover from my evening with George. I don't want to feel rushed when I leave him Friday morning, IF it takes him the entire night to autograph my "no-no spot." So, I will recover on Friday and prepare myself for Saturday, when I will see more Wrangler jeans than my eyes can handle. That will be in Baltimore at the PBR. Yeah, Carrie's BEST FREAKIN' WEEK EVER!!!

So, today, I had one of my favorite students come in to see me. I haven't seen him in a few months, but he is moving to Seattle in May, and he wanted to plan some future classes with me. Well, when he was leaving, he sort of had his hand and arm up like he was going to hug me, but I wasn't really sure. His hand wasn't turned like he was wanting me to give him high-five, but it wasn't quite low enough to prove he just wanted to shake my hand. So, I did what I thought he was wanting me to do, which was hug him. I still think that's what he wanted me to do, but the verdict is still out. It was a little awkward. I hope he wasn't thinking to himself "ummm...back off crazy lady, I just wanted to shake your hand." I did invite him to my super cool birthday party next month, and he said he would definitely come to it. It's the least I could do after I may or may not have invaded his personal space by accident. I don't know when or where said party will be, but I'm excited and I invite people to it every day, regardless of the date or location. It's TBD, and that seems good enough for most people.

Just so I have a post, I am posting a survey from Diva.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SANDWICH?
The Masterpiece Turkey wrap, which isn’t actually a sandwich, but it is a masterpiece! It’s served at Azar’s (hole in the wall Greek restaurant) and it is served with hummus and I love it. Sometimes, I even recreate it at home. I go there often enough that I have made a friend, who just happened to give me a little secret about the spices they use in the masterpiece, which I have since purchased and used every day for the last four days. YAY! Steve is about to secrete hummus and Greek spices from his skin, but it’s all good. When I cook something out of the ordinary or something that doesn't taste all that great, his reply is "It'll make a turd." I love him!

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
One hairy one. His name is Jackson, and he is in the gifted class in his home school program. He plays, eats, sleeps and poops at a grade level much higher than others in his age group. We are very proud of him, and have very high hopes for his future. I see Ivy League in his future. Oh, wait..just ivy.

IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Ummm…sometimes I am other people, and when I am, I am my friend.

DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
No, it is not necessary at any time…ever…never…sometimes…often…frequently…always…constantly…always!

DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Yeah, but I’m considering selling them on ebay if the price is right.

WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
If it pays more than my tonsils, I would consider it…maybe…probably…not.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Wheaties with honey drizzled on top.

DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Does peeling the Velcro back count as untying? If so…no, I don’t.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Well, that depends. I can be in a car by myself and let a big stinker out and not crack a window…while smiling. Yeah, that’s pretty strong!

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Coldstone’s Cheesecake with mini chocolate chips. NOT big chocolate chips!!! Only the itty bitties!

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
If they laugh when they see me, I notice their laugh. If they don’t laugh, I notice their feet. If they are wearing shoes, I notice their shoes. If they are wearing clothes, I don’t even pay much attention to them at all.

RED OR PINK?
Green. If not green, then blue. If not blue, then orange or yellow. If it has to be red or pink, I think I like both of them equally.

WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
My fatty arms. I never wear tank tops, but I wish I could.

WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Some lip gloss.

IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
White, because nobody uses the white one much, so it’s always in good shape. I’m hardly in good shape.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SMELL?
Home cooked food, my Shaklee laundry detergent, this preacher that teaches at my school (I know, creepy!)! Not that preachers aren’t supposed to smell nice and other people admire their scents, but to mention that as a favorite smell of mine is a little creepy. Steve has the same cologne that guy wears, but Steve smells moldy when he wears it. It’s Grey Flannel. Steve is more of a Burberry guy. The preacher’s pheromones just make Grey Flannel smell heavenly! HEE HEE!

FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Hockey, if it’s live. If I must participate, then I prefer surfing…the net.

HAIR COLOR?
Brown

EYE COLOR?
green and brown with white around the edges and a black circle in the center that changes size.

DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
No. I’ve had glasses since I was 14 or so, and contacts are a HUGE hassle. Me no likey contacts.

FAVORITE FOOD?
Various varieties of meats, vegetables, cookies, cakes, breads, rice, potatoes, crackers, dips, dairy products, cheeses, chocolates, fruits, liquids, etc.

LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Definitely…Maybe

SUMMER OR WINTER?
SUMMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HUGS OR KISSES?
Both. Without nuts, because I’m allergic. And, if you could unwrap them for me, that would be a huge help! What a hassle!

FAVORITE DESSERT?
Cheesecake. Chocolate covered coconut cheesecake, to be exact. (from The Cheesecake Factory)

WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Money and Banking. It’s a fascinating collection of information gathered in a 2-inch book, designed to introduce me to the world of both money and banking, both of which I give less than two shits about. But, apparently, I have mastered approximately 87% of the material covered thus far. I have enjoyed approximately .27% of the material covered thus far.

WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
My mouse.

WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT?
Big Brother, Little House on the Prairie

DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
I can clog…toilets.

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Springfield, Missouri

Peace on Earth and Goodwill towards men...and stuff

To me, this is one of the funniest events I have ever witnessed. Okay, it was the most recent funny event, so it ranks high...VERY high.
It's Friday, and I'm riding the elevator up to my office with a coworker I will call "Doofus." I'm wearing dress pants and a shirt I just bought at GAP, that's just as cute as it can be. I'm looking good and feeling similar. Dang, it's Friday! What's better than Friday? Well, Saturday is. But on Friday, it's the best day of the week so far, so it's a pretty awesome day. I look at Doofus, and he's wearing jeans. We NEVER EVER wear jeans on Fridays. We're constantly threatened that jeans on Saturdays will soon be a thing of the past. *sniffle* So, I say, "Doofus, jeans on Friday?" Honestly, I wasn't trying to be an ass or anything, I just thought I had missed a memo or something. He sort of rolled his eyes and said he didn't even realize what day it was. Ummm...correct me if I'm wrong, but Friday is the first of the cool days of the week. Friday is like Coolest Day of the Week Eve, then Saturday is the Coolest Day of the Week, and Sunday is the official Day after the Coolest Day of the Week. It's not a new concept. I've known this information for years. Almost 28 years. It never changes...unless you work shiftwork. Hard work. You know, 7-3, 3-11, 11-7. We don't work shiftwork in higher education. So, he said that our boss, who I will call "Pissface," would just have to "deal with it." If you knew "Pissface," you would know that he doesn't deal well with anything. And, if I know him like I think I do, "Pissface" is not going to handle this jean situation well. Let me add that "Doofus" is wearing a too-big sweater and clunky Timberland looking lumberjack boots with said jeans. He's what I call "urban." So, I go to my office for about 30 minutes. When I need "Doofus" to check on a student's account for me, I can't find him. So, I ask "Pissface" where he is. He said that he was in the bathroom changing clothes. I told "Pissface" that I had noticed his outfit in the elevator, and asked if Mrs. "Doofus" brought him extra clothes. "Pissface" said that he told "Doofus" he could not wear those clothes on a Friday, so "Doofus" asked if he could look for something that might fit him in the Goodwill box. Ummm...we have had this "Dress for Success" box for Goodwill to give business clothes to those less fortunate who are looking for jobs to get off welfare, etc. It's a great cause, but my boss is the only person that's made donations to it. Not because the rest of us are jerks, but because we work in a downtown area, and have to walk a few blocks from where we park to get to our building, then take an elevator up to our offices. Ummm...you can drive through Goodwill's drop-off area and save yourself a heck of a lot of trouble. So, that's what us normal people do. "Pissface" tells "Doofus" to help himself. "Pissface" is about 5'5" and maybe 240 lbs, while "Doofus" is probably 5'9" and maybe 180 lbs.
So, he finds a pair of slacks (or capri pants, if I'm going to be fashionably accurate) and a dress shirt. He kept the lumberjack boots on to complete this horrific ensemble. He actually wore the outfit all day. I thought that he might go home (about 10 minutes away from the campus) on his lunch hour to change, but he acted like he enjoyed his shopping spree a little. If only there had been dress shoes in the box, if "Pissface" ever mentioned to us that we should spend a day in his shoes, I could chime in and say, "Dude, Doofus already did." :) I think I get such a kick out of this story because when I was a child, my school had a lost and found box, and if you pissed/crapped your pants, then you had to get something to wear out of that box, which thankfully, I never did. Most of the time is was bell-bottom corduroys with elastic waists, which were not cool in 1985. You could tell when someone had an accident because they had stupid looking clothes on. So, had I not known better, I would have thought that "Doofus" had crapped his pants on the job.

Valentine's Day

I told the husband that I didn't want any roses for Valentine's Day, because I was going to see George Strait in a couple of weeks for my Valentine's present. I guess I didn't make it clear enough, because I didn't say "Don't send me any FLOWERS." So, he followed orders and didn't send roses, but sent these awesome purple orchids. He's so cute! I didn't get a gift, which I was happy about. I did get a funny card, which is SO him! We're card people. He got me an oversized Wizard of Oz Valentine with Dorothy hugging the Scarecrow on the front, and the inside said something like "I love you so much I could squeeze the stuffing out of you" I hate to tell him that it's not stuffing. I'm big boned. Really. Then, he wrote something incredibly silly on the inside AND drew a silly picture of himself and Jackson. I got him some chocolates, some new clothes, and a card with sound from Hallmark. It has Shrek on the front, and it says something like, "Guess who's been eating your chocolates." When you open it, it lets out a loud, long belch that sounds just like me. It's awesome! I played it on the phone for my best pal, Laura, and she was totally convinced it was me and not a greeting card. It was almost like a personalized card just for me or something. I wrote a mushy little note on the inside, so I appeared a little more serious. Ya know - get the focus more on Valentine's Day and less on the amazing bodily sounds I enjoy hearing and making.

Topless , Tapas, and Socks, OH MY!

It's Mardi Gras, so show me your tits!

Today was an absolutely beautiful day in Virginia Beach! It was in the low 80s and just gorgeous outside. It was the worst possible day to be trapped inside working. I pulled out one of my favorite summer outfits and some adorable strappy heels. My coworker and I went to Keagans for lunch, then I decided to go fill up with gas since my gas light had been on for a couple of days. I park a few blocks away from my building because I work downtown and I hate the parking garages, and there's an actual outdoor parking lot just a few blocks away. Well, as I start walking, the strap on my sandal breaks. I don't make a big deal out of it, but I must concentrate on walking, or I will walk right out of my shoe and look like a complete ass right there in front of everyone. There are restaurants everywhere and people are eating outside because the weather is perfect. When you're walking in between tall buildings, the wind gets really gusty. So, I cross the street and I'm walking in front of California Pizza Kitchen when the wind takes my shirt and places the part that should be covering my stomach and sticks it right to my face. Yes, I had a bare midriff in public for the first time in my life. I also exposed part of my chest to those in the downtown area. Embarrassing? Uhhh...yes. Hilarious? Hell yeah! So, instead of stopping and fixing it, I just kept walking and fixed it as I was walking and giggling. I cracked up at the entire situation. Then, as soon as I got it fixed, a receipt (or two) flew out of my purse. I was a hot mess walking down the street. People that know me know that I can't keep things like this to myself. I must share it with anyone and everyone. I knew I could get Heather on the phone, and I did! It tickled me to get to share my incident with someone that shares my sense of humor. I tried my mom, but she didn't answer any of her numbers, and my Auntie Linda was nowhere to be found, either. I got my husband, but he's not impressed by these stories anymore because shit like this ALWAYS happens to me! I finally got my mom and got to tell her. When I returned to work, I told almost everyone that I work with and even a few of my favorite students. One of the funniest parts is that I've been passing out beads to students this week as they enter their classrooms for Midterms, and I have a necklace with beads the size of baseballs that I wear. People have asked me if I bought them or earned them, and up until today, I couldn't honestly say that I had earned them. But, today, I could be proud to say that I showed my tits!

Tapas

Tonight, the husband and I went out for dinner and had tapas for the first time. It's like a meal of appetizers, which happens to be food and food is a favorite thing of mine, so it's perfect. Tapas = Food, Food = Carrie Happy, so life is good. We get to this place and it's like a dungeon. There is a big bed with pillows where you can sit and eat, about a half a dozen tables and one little cave with a table in it. Weird, huh? It was dark and there were pillar candles burning at every table (not on the bed) and wax was dripping on the tables and some on the floor. So, we sit down and get water and menus. We each order three things. One salad each (me Caesar and him spinach), and I ordered crab cakes and scallops and he ordered some crab and steak something and spinach/crab dip. They bring tapas to your table as they're prepared, so the first thing we get is the crab dip and my "salad." Let me tell you what this salad looked like...It was a 2-inch slice of baguette bread that had been hollowed out. Stuck inside of this crispy bread (which I later found out was the crouton) was four stalks of romaine lettuce, which are standing erect on my triangle plate. Yep - whole stalks of lettuce. Surrounding the large tree and stump of salad was a pond of dressing and some parmesan cheese. So, I had to destroy their beautiful little salad landscape to cut and eat my food. It was really pretty, though, and it even tasted better than it looked! It was awesome, even though I had to pretty much prepare it myself. The crab dip was amazing. The crab cakes were like nothing we had ever eaten before, too. The husband isn't a big crab cake fan and even he loved them. The scallops were topped with mandarin oranges and surrounded by a sea of raspberry smoothie-like gravy. Yum! The beef/crab thing was awesome, too. We ended the evening with chocolate covered strawberries, which were nothing to write home about, but it was an interesting and tasty dinner, even if it was in a scary, fire hazard of a dungeon.

Couples Massage

Last night, the husband and I went for our first ever couples massage. As we're driving there, I remember that my husband is a lot like my father when it comes to grooming his feet. I will get upset with him when I see his toenails at times, so I will cut them for him. I ask him in the car if his toenails were nasty. He said that they are pretty long as I gasp and roll my eyes at him. I tell him how disgusting that is and I would have taken care of them had I known they were (yet again) on the verge of getting him in the Guiness Book of World Records in the category of "World's Yuckiest and/or longest and/or Nastiness Toenails". Then, he reminds me that he has Athlete's Foot and is going to tell the massage lady to stay away from his feet because of his fungus. I am appalled by his lack of tact in this delicate situation. I tell him not to even whisper the word "fungus" to a woman that's going to be rubbing *almost* every inch of his body. I told him that I would be discrete and let them know that he was funny about his feet, so not to touch them. That's reasonable, right? Well, he just said, "Whatever, but I can just tell her about the fungus." I realize that guys just don't give a damn about stuff like that. He would have told the lady anything and wouldn't have been embarrassed at all. I'm SO not like that! So, we get in there and we're both with girls, which is not something I'm thrilled about, but I knew this when the appointment was made. No biggie. I can deal with it...I think. The husband talks to his lady and I talk to mine as we walk towards our double room. At this moment, I still think this is a good idea to get a massage side-by-side. Somewhere in the conversation, my husband tells his lady that he doesn't want his feet touched. When they leave us alone to undress, we're both under the sheets, and I ask him a normal question ("Did you leave your underwear on?") He said that he did, and he left his socks on, too. I get tickled because I didn't realize that he had told the lady not to touch his feet. I say to him, "Well, she oughta get the hint that you don't want your feet touched, huh? Good thinkin'!" Then, I thought that she might think he's some sort of freak or something because who leaves their socks on for a massage, anyways? When I tell him that leaving his socks on is funny, he informs me that he also told her about not touching his feet. So, he had it all worked out and he got his massage while wearing his underwear AND socks. Even though this was our first couples massage, it will probably be our last. I couldn't relax much with him right beside me and his girl telling him to roll over, etc. I got tickled a couple of times when I peeked over at him, because I knew that under that sheet was my husband's body with his underwear and socks. HEE HEE!

Bad, bad blogger!

I realize that I've been horrible at keeping this up lately. Should I catch everyone up on what's happened in my life since my last post?
Okay, the last post was about the cruise we were getting ready to go on. We went. We had fun. We will go on another cruise. We even made friends on that cruise. Nice friends. We had dinner with them and went to the evening shows and had drinks with those friends. Christmas cards were sent and received from these friends. It was worth every penny (the cruise, that is. We do not pay for friends)
So, then came August and September. Oh, yes...I went to Missouri in September. October was okay, too. I don't remember much, but no trick-or-treaters AGAIN. I passed out candy to hundreds downtown for my rich, private, for-profit educational institution employer. November was Thanksgiving. We had pizza. My friend Heather came to visit. It was fun! I went to Oklahoma in early December. I had lots of fun. I don't think there's such thing as too much fun, but it was borderline. We had dinner at Charlie's Chicken with Kristin and her tribe, Heather and her kids and Kristin & Heather's mother, who just so happens to be one of my favorite people in the whole, entire world. The next day, we met an old friend of mine at my favorite little Mexican joint for lunch. It was just like old times...sort of. We also went to see Miranda Lambert and drove down Memory Lane (not literally), and went to an infinite amount of casinos and went to a "nice" little bar and got completely shitfaced. It really was a good time. I made new friends and created my very own drink, which is still being served there today. I know that because the friends I made that night include a bouncer at that nice little bar and the bartender himself. They are actually friends of my Okie friend, Heather. But, she and I have a way of sharing friends, so they are now my friends, too! I shared my friends, Laura and Dan, with her, so it's only right that I get some of hers, too!
The husband and I went home for Christmas, which was nice for a change. It was nice to get to see everyone, especially for the holidays!
I had bronchitis from Christmas Day until just a couple of weeks ago, so the New Year's bash around here consisted of me crashing in bed by 9pm. WOO HOO! It was okay, though.
January was a long month, and I'm excited for February to get started! I have a lot going on this month, including a short trip to Oklahoma, Valentine's Day, an evening with George Strait AND my husband (I know! Don't hate upon me.) and a trip (possibly two) to see the PBR. I'm a very lucky woman this month! And...I'm enrolled in my last class right this moment! I will be a real graduate on March 24!!! WOO HOO!
I promise that I will post again soon!