Catching up...

I had a huge surprise last Thursday when my parents flew from Missouri to Virginia and DIDN'T TELL ME. The husband was in on it for quite some time, and they all pulled one over on me for the first time EVER!!! I had to work late on Thursday, so when I started home, I called the husband to see if he wanted me to pick something up for dinner. He said not to stop, because he had something special at home. He was working on a research paper, but I didn't put anything together like he didn't have time to cook anything, let along something "special." I assumed it was fish, because fish is special to me and I eat it every chance I get. Well, I was on the phone with my mom (which I had no idea she was in my house), and I told her that I was coming home and I had something "special" waiting for dinner. She told me to call her later and tell her what it was. I told her to just hold on a second, because I was walking in the door. When I opened the door, I said, "meatballs?" I looked at the husband and said, "you don't know how to make porcupine meatballs!" like the meatball snob that I am. Then, I noticed potatoes boiling as if they were soon going to be mashed potatoes. Real mashed potatoes, too? What? Then, with me still on the phone with her, my mom and dad come running out of the guest bedroom. I should have known that the husband couldn't make the family meatballs by himself. I can't believe that he actually kept a secret from me! We spent the weekend eating, shopping and just hanging out at the house. My Dad painted my cabinets, and they look way cool! Pictures are coming soon - I promise! We also took in some Dance Dance Revolution. Mom was pretty good, and Dad was really entertaining! He did better than I thought he would, though! We played Jeopardy, too. It was girls vs. boys (bitches vs. assbags to us), and the bitches totally kicked some tail! Then, when we hadn't beat them enough, we busted out the Cranium game and the bitches blew the assbags away! It was VERY entertaining! It was really scary when the husband and Dad could read each other's minds with the most ridiculous clues. My Dad had to make a clown out of clay. He just made some dorky looking shoes, and the husband guessed it right away. It was a really eerie moment that left Mom & I speechless. It was our first time playing that game and it was really fun!

Surprise!

I guess that I feel like I was surprised once, so the entire world is out there just to surprise me for my birthday. Today, my boss called me and told me that the entire office would be meeting at 11:30. I decided to be a couple of minutes late, so they could light the candles and such. I just knew they would all be there with party hats and noisemakers when I walked in the room. Nope. There were chairs lined up and my boss was standing at the front with notes. A real meeting? Just days before my 27th birthday? What? I thought this was going to be a party. So, I asked the secretary if I could borrow a pad of paper and a pen. I honestly thought I would be consuming cake at this moment, but I'm listening to my boss rattle about goals and crap? What the...? So, I giggled all the way back to my office and eventually fessed up to a member of my work alliance. She laughed and said that was so something that I would think of - a fake meeting to cover up my surprise party. What's so funny about that?
So, later in the day, the secretary called me and asked me to come up to the front of the office for a second. This time, I knew that it was my party. Our part-time secretary arrived with cake icing on her shirt. You can't hide a birthday party from me - eventually, I'll sniff out the party! So, I took the long hallway from my office, instead of the little shortcut. The office makes a big circle. I normally take the long hallway to avoid walking by my boss's office. It's just a habit at this point. I've learned all of the shortcuts to avoid him. Well, they weren't expecting that, and all of their backs were pointed towards me, because they were expecting me to come from the other direction, so I yelled, "SURPRISE!" HEE HEE! It was priceless! I got a cake and a card, and inside the card, my boss had stuck a few coupons in because he's such an asswipe. I would have rather had a ream of paper or something. But, two Krispy Kreme Valentines for free donuts, and two coupons for free dessert at some bar down on the oceanfront with the purchase of an entree? What? Please, just give me a handful of Post-It's or something. I would even go for a highlighter and some file folders or something. Don't dig through your wallet and just pull something out (unless it's green). Give me a break! I'm still in shock that, for my birthday, I was given regifted coupons. I know that there's a rule against regifting coupons! There has to be! I don't even think it's acceptable to give coupons as a gift for any occasion. Can anyone clarify this for me? Also, is it in good taste to put two Valentine cards for free donuts in a birthday card approximately 1 month and 11 days after Valentine's Day? Keep in mind, I received one of these on Valentine's Day, and was a little offended then, but our janitor seemed pleased when I gave it to him later that day with the nasty box of conversation hearts that accompanied it. Hello?

So, in the past week, I have learned that I'm:
1. a meatball snob, and
2. a selfish birthday girl that feels she's above receiving regifted coupons as actual birthday gifts

Is that bad? Are my standards set too high?

Can you relate?

I work with this girl that I will call Metoo. If someone has a headache, her response is "me too." If I say that my arm itches, hers does too. If someone has diarrhea, I'll be damned if she doesn't have diarrhea, too!
My bestest friend, Jenn, suggested that I mention my hoo-ha itching, just to see how far Metoo would go. Before her suggestion, I mentioned that I might say that I had herpes, but I like Jenn's suggestion much better!

Free cabbage and beer? How do I RSVP?

The 2nd floor of our building has a realty company that likes to spend their money on food. They have had a few parties and invited us to all of them. They had an Open House in their office today to celebrate St. Patrick's Day and invited the staff and faculty of the university I work for. The invitation said cabbage and beer tasting. I think that was their version of crowd control, and I didn't fall for it. I can handle cabbage, but not on a work day. I'll pass on the beer, too. When we arrived, there were garlic fries (a fave of mine),pita bread and hummus, egg rolls, sandwiches, cheese and crackers, etc. I had pita bread and a cookie. I threw in a string cheese that was about to expire, too (this was my personal contribution to lunch - they didn't have these at their party). So, a couple of hours later, I had gas as if I had consumed a bowl of cabbage the size of an adult Leprechaun.*** I was in the *presence* of cabbage and got cabbage farts? What?

***Disclaimer - I don't know the size difference between an adolescent and adult Leprechaun. I just thought I'd say an adult Leprechaun, just in case.

New Addition!


The husband and I just returned from a long weekend in MO to see my newest nephew (my only nephew on my side of the family)


Meet Carson Jase...


He has a hairdo very similar to my brother/his father...

We got to visit with both families and eat like pigs everywhere we went! Since we hadn't been home since last summer, we were just now having our Christmas exchange with my in-laws. We have a male/female exchange that can get ugly if there's a really hot item in the mix. When the husband's grandmother was still living, she got a couple of DVD's one year in the drawing. She was blind, so they weren't the best match for her. My brother-in-law got a gag-type gift - a large ceramic frog prince, and told Grandma that he would trade with her. She held the frog and said she thought that was a good idea. She said the frog would look nice on the back of her toilet. She had a positive outlook like that, and everyone got a good laugh out of it. We giggled for the next year - but that stopped when it showed up in the exchange the following year! Well, we have dodged the frog for five years, but I was starting to feel left out. Since Grandma passed away last year, I thought this was my turn. The silly frog had even gone outside the family, yet I never had my turn with it. Last year, my nephew's roommate got the frog. I thought we might not ever see it again. I mentioned that it was my turn to two of my nephews, and had faith that they would make it happen. Well, it was wrapped in a box with my name on it. So, I feel like I'm doing my duty as a part of their family by caring for the frog until December when I pass it on to someone else. There's a duplicate for sale on ebay, so the frog may multiply so two family members can share in the fun next year. Here's the frog...

It's very flamboyant, but very cute!

I'll post more on our trip later.