My Year of a Million Dreams!

So, Disney has their "Year of a Million Dreams." Well, this is my year of a million dreams! March is just beginning, and I've already had an awesome year! Last week, I got to see George Strait (as if a last name was required). George was in Richmond, and it was so worth the two hour drive with Steve's coworker and friend in the backseat. And, yes, we did have fried chicken in the parking garage. It was not as bad as I expected. I did participate in the fried chicken feast. My hands got greasy, and I did not die. I know - I'm as shocked as anyone! I still don't like fried chicken. I never will. We also had potato salad and rice pudding. How redneck of us, huh? So, we returned to our dwelling early Friday morning following the concert. George seemed tired, so I didn't stick around for him to touch my "no-no" spot. Maybe next time...if there is one. He's one of my favorite people in the entire world, and he's the type of person that I would invite over for biscuits and gravy.

Friday was spend recovering from Thursday night. I didn't drink because I was the driver, and I don't usually consume beer in small or large amounts. Since beer is the beverage of choice at most concerts, I make a great designated driver. We did do a little shopping on Friday to make sure we had the perfect outfits to wear to the PBR on Saturday night. I had a feeling that I would get to see some hunks in Wrangler jeans, so I had to make sure the husband and I looked our best. I got a black shirt and some turquoise jewelry. The husband got a plaid Chaps shirt, which was quite perfect for the occasion. We packed and got things together for our departure to Baltimore early Saturday morning. Baltimore is about four hours away, so we left about 8am and arrived about noon. Chris (my best pal's husband) drove us the entire way. We made a few stops so I could pee. I don't know why, but I had to go a lot that day! At one point, we stopped at a McDonald's just south of DC to use the restroom. After we were all finished, I met everyone near the counter. The husband was ordering a yogurt parfait. Chris, Laura & I were just standing there waiting for him. Some local man (he was "urban") asked Chris if we were from the area. He replied that we weren't locals, and we were just passing through or something. Then, the man proceeded to tell us that there were some good buffets just a couple of exits up the road. Not once did any of us mention a buffet. So, apparently, we look like buffet people that appreciate food in large quantities. Laura and I were both appalled, but still found much humor in the situation! We laughed all the way up there, even though we were a little tired. We got to Baltimore and met up with Laura's cousin and her husband for lunch. I was really excited to meet them! I had seen him on tv many times, and I had heard a lot about her from Laura, so I was glad to finally meet them! It's sort of strange that I knew who he was before I even met Laura. Anywho, he works for the PBR and hooked us up with some amazing tickets and plenty of opportunities for me to meet my favorite bull riders. I got to meet Chris Shivers, J.W. Hart, Adriano Moraes and Brendon Clark. Yeah, it was awesome! We got to go to a Jack Daniels party before the event and partake in some excessive Jack consumption, which allowed us to giggle even more than usual. When we started walking to our seats, we realized we were in the FRONT freaking row. Yeah, our seats were so good, we almost got dirty! And, after the event is over, all the bull riders walk around the fence and sign autographs and pose for pictures and stuff. We got some good ones, even though we were laughing a little too much for most people to hang around us too long. Laura even asked one of them if her cousin (who she mentioned by name, but I won't) had ever helped him (he's a doctor for the bull riders). He just looked at her like she was crazy, then moved on down the line. The husbands and I just died laughing, and we could hardly be serious enough to take pictures after that. I will post some of them later. After everything was over, we went to the hotel bar for some grub, even more beverages, and crazy picture taking with bull riders and such. That's where we got to see Chris Shivers and J.W. Hart. We got a few pictures taken with them, and they were so nice and cooperative. Two pictures didn't turn out, so we had to go back for a third, which worked out just fine. Later, we tried to give them some of our chicken wings, but they didn't want them. They were our leftovers, so I'm sure few people would actually accept them as a token of our appreciation. We had lots of fun, and headed to our rooms sometime between the hours of midnight and 1am. We don't remember much, really. So, at this point, I had met everyone I wanted to meet except for Brendon Clark, who is such a little hunk. I was okay with that, though. I could have lived my life without meeting him, BUT the next morning, there he was at the restaurant for breakfast. I wasn't going to interrupt him while he was eating. Laura's cousin and her husband kept saying that I WAS going to meet him before I left. He came over to our table and talked to them for a while, but I didn't actually get to meet him. Then, we were getting ready to leave and Laura's cousin was talking to him in the lobby, and we got to meet him and Laura and I even got our picture taken with him with her camera phone. He was adorable and he smelled good and he was nice, contrary to what I had heard. But, we interacted for a total of approximately 47 seconds. Everyone can be on their best behavior for 47 seconds. Honestly, I only need 8 seconds with him.

Sunday morning, we laughed when we weren't sleeping during the drive back to VB. We played the alphabet game, which is a favorite when the four of us are in a car together. If you have never played, it goes a little something like this...
Person 1: A is for alligator
Person 2: A is for alligator, B is for bobblehead
Person 3: A is for alligator, B is for bobblehead, C is for critter
Person 4: A is for alligator, B is for bobblehead, C is for critter, D is for doughboy
Etc, etc.
So, by the time you get to Z, you have to recite all 25 prior letters and words. I must admit, we came up with some doozies this trip!

When I arrived home and checked the mail, I had a brochure from Busch Gardens about getting our season passes for this year AND some special events that are coming to the park this year. The brochure said, "Ever wanted to get up close and personal with a penguin?" As I read it, I was saying, "Uhhh...yeah!" Then, I read on and it said that I could meet Jack Hanna. Live. In person. Yep. Jack freaking Hanna! And, you can purchase tickets to eat breakfast with him. Anyone who knows me is fully aware of my love for penguins and my extreme crush on Jack Hanna. Yeah, guess who has tickets? ME! I bought two tickets. If my best friend, Jenn, isn't too knocked up and miserable when it all goes down, she's going to go with me. If she can't go, then the husband is going to try to get off work to go with me. I called my best pal, Laura, to see if she would go with me if Jenn and Steve couldn't. She said that even though she was honored to be my third option, she didn't know if she was going to get a season pass this year, so she would actually have to pay to get into the park. I don't care who goes with me, but I'm going to meet Jack Hanna! And, I'm going to wear a diaper because I just might shit my pants!

My year of a million dreams is starting out quite well, don't you think?

Carrie's Gay Weekend 2007, Threesome, etc.

I have amazed myself this weekend! Honestly!
Aunt Linda - I have a feeling this will leave you speechless.

Friday: I went to the doctor to find out I have tonsillitis just in time for a 3-day weekend. I would have bet money that it was strep throat, because I was feeling that icky.

Saturday: I hung out with the gaybors and helped them clean up their condo before they move. (They're moving back to NY next week) Okay...so we got tired of working after approximately 20 minutes, so I go across the street to our house and fill a bin with everything alcoholic that we own. I walk it across the street and we play bartender with all of our goods. At that time, their condo contained: 1 television on a tv tray, some alcohol and a few floor pillows. We watched Madonna's tour on DVD and drank awful mixed drinks. It felt like college all over again, except for the fact that now I'm old enough to actually purchase the liquor myself. The man-wife broke his foot last week, so he washed his pain pills down with some of our drink concoctions. Man-wife got hungry for Indian food, so we drive (safely) to the nice Indian buffet...in our pajamas. We got strange looks, but we didn't really care, because it's Saturday and we just did a few minutes of housework and drank tequila and vodka before noon. The food was good, but it didn't agree with the man-husband's stomach, so he visits the Indian bathroom while man-wife and I got really tickled at our table. It was one of those moments when I just can't contain my laughter (this often happens at the WORST possible times like at church or in an airplane or anywhere else slightly quiet) After lunch, we go to our respective homes and take naps, but not before I mention to them that they could use our mattress for the next few days, since theirs is already packed away. Yeah, gay love is probably being made on our mattress across the street right now. Steve and the man-husband carried our mattress across the street for them to enjoy for the next few days. They were really happy with it. I will not ask questions about the nature of our mattress in their home. Well, I did crack one little joke about it when the husband was not present.

Saturday afternoon: Best friend calls to tell me she will be arriving Saturday night to take full advantage of the beach early on Sunday. I bust out laughing because she has no choice but to sleep in the bed with me and the husband, since the gaybors are using (and probably abusing) our guest bed. HEE HEE! Yeah, we have a couch, but she's allergic to cats and Jackson sits on the couch. I'm no mathematician, but 3 people + 1 king bed = lots of giggles, but a good night's sleep. I'm sure my husband bragged about having two women in his bed at work the next day. Bless his heart! I must say that I have the best husband and best friend in the world! I can't think of many husbands or friends that would tolerate me and my shenanigans, but they sure do!

Sunday: Jenn and I go to the beach pretty early in the morning. We parked in the front row and got prime spots in the sand. We spent a few good hours just looking at magazines and the old man buns on the beach. Our little spot by the jetty had a surfing competition going on, so we had plenty of entertainment. It was 90 degrees, and I didn't last as long as I wanted to. But, Jenn and I both vowed to use sunscreen this summer, and we didn't burn, so it was a successful first trip to the beach!

Monday: The gaybors arrived at 3pm for our cookout/American Idol finale viewing (again)/board game marathon/neighborhood gossip fest. They left about midnight, after 9 (yes, nine) hours of constant laughing, singing and even some dancing. Even the husband had a lot of fun! We played Cranium until we almost wet ourselves. That game is a must for anyone with a sense of humor! Overall, it was a very memorable Memorial Day!

I can't sleep, so this may or may not make sense. Either way, I have hopes of it being entertaining.

So much stuff to tell, so little energy. Here's a start...

I went to Weight Watchers solo tonight, because the husband had to go out of town for the evening. I lost four pounds. Just as an experiment, I weighed myself this morning with wet hair, then took a poo and dried my hair, then weighed myself again. That had a 3 lb weight difference. I don't know if it was the hair or poo, but it was an interesting little scientific study I wanted to try. I've done it before, but without the wet hair part. Sometimes it's just easier to say to the husband, "Dang, that was a 2-pounder" instead of, "Dang, honey! Come look at this!" He doesn't EVER fall for that anymore. I get dreamy-eyed and reminisce now, and say in my head, "Oh, how fun young love was!"

More funny stories about the husband...
A couple of weeks ago, he swapped shifts with a guy at work, so we could fly to Missouri for our nephew's wedding. Yeah, I'm 27, but have a 24-year-old nephew getting married. It does sound weird. Anywho, the husband traded to have a Friday off (Good Friday) in exchange for the next Tuesday. Well, this guy did not discuss this swap with his wife prior to completing the paperwork to make it official. When he told his wife, she was pissed, because she was off work and planned on spending the day off with her husband. So, I was told by my husband that "we" should make cookies for this guy to thank him for facing the wrath of a pissed wife, just so we could attend the wedding. Ummmm... I've been that pissed wife before, and cookies don't really compensate for a stupid husband. So, I agreed that cookies could be made to give to this poor, pitiful guy. I gave the husband a deadline, so he would know when I might be in the mood to make the darn cookies. (Example: Maybe I'll make them Monday or Tuesday or Wednesday or Thursday night. Yeah, Thursday night I'll make them) So, it was like Wednesday evening, and while talking to him on my way home from work, he said that he though we should definitely make the cookies that night. I was okay with that, but I felt sort of pressured, and also felt like the husband might have been pressured or something. Sort of like a child that gets their lunch or lunch money stolen at school. Like, he was told by his coworker, "Get me the stuff by Thursday morning, or else..." I could tell that the husband really NEEDED to give this guy some cookies, so I went along with it. I even got the Kitchen Aid mixer out for the job, so I doubled the recipe because well, we weren't on a diet at that time. I also wanted to officially welcome our new neighbors in my most Martha Stewart-like manner. I ended up with an abundance of yummy cookies, so I mentioned to the husband that I would send a bunch to work with him for all of his coworkers. He looked at me (very seriously) and said, "What would make this special for that guy if you make cookies for everyone?" I told him that I would give him a bowl to take home, but there would be a plate of cookies for everyone. The husband looked at me like I had a third nipple...on my forehead, and said he disagreed. So, I got the largest Gladware bowl I had, and sent a shitload of cookies to work with the husband to give to this man. Deep down, I had the idea in the back of my head that this man would realize he had no business taking ALL of these cookies home and eating them ALL by himself, so he'd give in and share them with their coworkers like my original plan. When I asked the husband how the cookie exchange went, he said that he accepted them, then took him to his car and left them. What? It totally fits into my idea that this man had threatened my husband or something. Was there a wedgie in store for my husband had I not delivered those cookies in a timely manner? Was he going to get shoved in a locker? He's so funny! I hope I got him out of a swirly or something by making the dang ol' cookies!

Gaybor update

So, the gaybors have sold their place and are moving out soon. They were invited to our American Idol party this Tuesday, but cancelled at the last minute, but said they *would* come over for the results show on Wednesday. (uhhh, okay) I confirmed that would be fine, and I received an email response from the man-wife saying that he would make brownies for the occasion. He's been wanting to try my cream cheese pinwheels for a while, so I thought that I would make them, but I didn't mention it to him, because I didn't really know if I would have time to make them. Well, I had mentioned to the husband that they would be coming over, but he forgets almost everything I tell him, especially if it involves gay men coming over. I asked him to pick up the ingredients for my pinwheels on his way home from work, so I could make them as soon as I got home. We even saved enough points to eat a brownie, so we wouldn't be rude to our guests and refuse gay food. I get home, light candles, etc. to make sure our home is completely gay-friendly and inviting. I make the pinwheels really quickly, and the husband eagerly helps with whatever he can. He doesn't even realize that we're having company during those moments while I'm scurrying around making sure everything is perfect. I finally feel that there's nothing more I can do to make our home any more inviting for a gay couple, and I look at the husband and say, "Are you really wearing that* tonight?"
*Flannel pajama pants and a t-shirt with a big smiley face on it that says, "BOOBIES MAKE ME SMILE" He looked at me like he just didn't understand me. I reminded him that the gaybors were supposed to come over and I didn't know if his plan was to scream "I'm a straight man" or what, but that t-shirt definitely did that! The shirt actually makes me smile, but I didn't know if it was appropriate for this occasion. So, it's 8:30, and I'm expecting them to arrive at any moment. Then, it's 9:00. The show is starting, but we have it paused. I love TiVo!
So, I'm a little perturbed that they're late. This is just not like a gay man to be late. So, I march over there to see if they're going to come over. The husband-type answers the door and says that he'll ask the "wife" if he wants to, but they were just settling in to watch it in their living room. What? So, I politely said that they were more than welcome to come over and watch it with us if they wanted to. I knew we wouldn't see them, and it really hurt my feelings! I thought that gay men were better than that for some reason. Why would you practically invite yourself to someone's house, then not show up with the brownies their dieting bodies were longing for? I didn't get an email from them or anything. Hello? Do I need to review the emails where we discussed this little get-together? UGH! So, I have a bunch of these pinwheels that just aren't very point-friendly with our WW diet. Things worked out perfectly, because I made those for our Thanksgiving dinner at work, and my friend had some leftover pinwheels in a cup in the fridge with her name on it, and they vanished. We have an office nastyass that eats anything and everything in sight (labeled or not). So, I took them to the two girls in my office alliance, and they were really excited about the gaybors standing us up, and providing them with a tasty treat.