Yep, I know...that's what I get!

I rushed home tonight to claim my spot at the front door because I appreciate small children in costumes so much more than the husband does. I called numerous times throughout the evening to check on the "count." "None" he said - each time I called. So, I assumed that we'd have a rush when I got home. I stopped and got us takeout because I wouldn't have time to cook since I'd be at the front door passing out all of those little bags filled with stickers, trinkets and candy that I spent hours preparing last night. When I pulled down our street, I had hope. There was a little girl dressed like Diana Ross (or something eerily similar). Even if it was a rather odd costume, I was not passing judgment! Not at this point in the game. It was 6:45, and the holiday officially ended at 8:30 in our city. I had an entire Halloween tub filled with treats for children just like her. I knew she was going to come to our door! I just knew it! Then, she'd call her friends and tell them that this nice lady down (insert my street name) had the best candy in the city, and she went to the trouble of making these cool baggies for everyone, and she would encourage them to visit my house - quickly, because treats that cool won't last long. I really thought that I would be the neighborhood "nice lady" that all of the kids loved. The Martha Stewart of Virginia Beach.

6:45 - I pull in our driveway with dinner in tow. (Plus, an awesome piece of Pumpkin Cheesecake from California Pizza Kitchen. It was incredible! A special shout-out thanks to the Jew for that!)

6:52 - I have inhaled my fish sandwich, and I'm ready to run downstairs to my post. I need to be near the front door when the doorbell rings!

6:53 - I open the front door. The doorbell didn't ring or anything, but what if there's a child standing out there because they can't reach the doorbell? Nope. Nobody there.

6:54 - I step out the front door to make sure I'm at the right house. Yep, I was.

6:55 - I approach the "alternative lifestyle" neighbors. One of them is out on the deck with his fag hag. (ya know, that girl that is like a magnet to gay men because she thinks having a gay friend is the best thing since Wet N Wild makeup - Grace has Will & Karen has Jack. Gay men are like real estate! I'm not looking into any property at this time, so I'm not wanting to be anyone's hag, and no, I'm not one bit jealous of this woman or anyone who has their own property. She can have the entire neighborhood of gays - and the population in our neighborhood is MUCH higher than the national average!) Back to my timeline. I ask them if they have had any T-O-Ters. He said just one, right before I got home. I know that was little Diana Ross. I told him that I had LOTS of candy (deep down, I knew that my candy was probably better than his, too). I told him that I would send any I got his way, and for him to do the same.

6:58 - I head back to my front door, looking both ways OVER and OVER for the random child who is in need of candy - lots of it! Nope. None to be found. I even looked for Diana Ross's big hair. Unfortunately, Diana and her hair had left our neighborhood.

7:00 - Return to the living room where the husband was still enjoying his dinner and watching Little House on the Prairie (without me).

7:01 - I go out on the deck so I can see for miles away. I might be able to stir up some business if I can project my voice and the fact that I have LOTS of YUMMY CANDY for FREE. Those words should really get people's attention. I didn't even try, because my neighborhood looked and sounded as if there had been a mandatory hurricane evacuation hours ago, and nobody told me and my neighbor about it.

7:02 - Complain to the husband that I might need to take my candy tub out on the street and hand it out myself. I even thought about going door-to-door and handing it out in a reverse fashion.

7:03 - Peek in my leftover candy sack (the remaining candy that I had left after preparing 50+ goodie bags)

7:04 - I open a damn skull pop sucker and begin pouting and eating the stupid sucker.

7:05 - I ask the husband (who's doing homework now) if he will go around the neighborhood with me and our candy tub.

7:06 - Husband is getting tired of me and my passion to get rid of the candy. He mentioned last night that he really liked the skull pops, and oddly enough, everything else we had bought. Hmmm....

7:10 - I hear something outside, so I run to the window to look out.

7:11 - I realize it's just the neighbor and his hag laughing on the deck.

These events at 7:10 and 7:11 continue throughout the evening.

8:15 - Not one kid - big or small - has tricked and/or treated me yet.

8:30 - Notice the neighbor has turned his lights out.

10:22 - I waive my white flag and turn my light off, too.

So, I made up a lot of silly Halloween rules yesterday. Today, I'm willing to give all of our candy to anyone of any age, height, etc. I will not discriminate...I promise!

Maybe next year will be better! If not, I'm moving!

TRICK OR TREAT!

We drove to "The" store tonight to get candy for the kiddies. I fixed up 50 bags with stickers, candy and trinkets for our little goblins tomorrow night. If you're coming to my house, please obey the following rules:

1. You must be shorter than me to receive a special bag of goodies. If you're taller than me, you will receive something equivalent to a Tootsie Roll. I have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to trick-or-treaters and their ages/size. You're welcome!

2. You must obey the city's rules for Halloween evening. This means you may bother people between dusk and 8:30, but not after. Tip: If you visit our house at 8:29, you're going to hit the cavity jackpot, because I'm going to give you EVERYTHING I have (less the Kit Kats, which are my favorite)

3. If you are looking for treats with nuts, keep on going! Since I am allergic to nuts, I will respect the little boogers like me. I know there are a lot of them out there, and I realize I just might be their hero!

4. If you don't have a costume on, I will survey the situation before deciding on what I give you. If you're not dressed up because your family can't afford it, I will give you lots. If you didn't dress up because you think you're too cool, then you're also too cool for candy! And, you're welcome in advance for that Tootsie Roll! I'm not "dressing up," but I am wearing my orange sweater and calling my "costume" the 2 Great Pumpkins! Please do me a favor and make up something as fabulous for your outfit of choice - nothing fancy or anything!

5. If you're carrying two candy buckets, and one of them is for your baby sister that's in the car...
a. she's too young to enjoy the candy
b. if you were a nice sibling, you would just share your candy with her!
And, you're also welcome in advance for that Tootsie Roll...both of you!!!

Please be aware that we're now living in a condo. Yes, I realize that last year, our cute two-story house on that cute little all-American street had the walkway lined with pumpkin and skull lights and the porch was beautifully decorated. We have since moved into a condo, where we must obey a 20-lb homeowner's manual and all of its stupid, retarded, non-holiday friendly rules. We will not be able to light our walkway or even put a pumpkin out front. Stupid, I know - but I will still be enforcing the additional rules stated above. Thank you for your cooperation. and...Have a safe and Happy Halloween!!!

Ghosts, Goblins & Ghouls - Oh my!

Saturday night was our date night. We did dinner and a movie last weekend, so this weekend had to be different. Boy, was it ever! The husband and I decided to do the Haunted Hayride at a local farm. http://www.huntclubfarm.com/newhalloween/attractions.htm We thought it was going to be a cheesy Halloween production that we could laugh at later. When we got stuck in Branson-like traffic, we realized that we weren't the only ones wanting to get skeered Saturday night. There were cops directing traffic (that wasn't moving) and people coming from every direction! It didn't take us long to realize this was a major event! There was a Ferris wheel, some kiddy rides, a Fun Slide, concession stands, and 3 different frightening attractions. We got a ticket to see each attraction once - the Haunted Hayride, the Field of Screams and the Village of the Dead. Well, I pulled a Carrie and wore the WRONG shoes...again! The husband is very familiar with this predicament! Last fall, when we went to the mountains for our little anniversary getaway, I wore heels, and didn't take any other shoes. We had to drive to the nearest Wal-Mart (over an hour away) to get a stupid pair of comfortable-looking shoes (comfortable-looking does NOT necessarily mean comfortable). I ended up putting my heels back on later that same day. Well, I wore heels to the farm for this haunted date. I changed my shirt 4 times, but never once did I consider a shoe change! The husband even asked me if I wanted to change into my most comfortable shoes before we left the house. I flat-out lied and said I was wearing my most comfortable shoes. Maybe I thought he said my cutest shoes. Now, those I was wearing! Farms near the beach actually have sand on the ground. My heels (very pointy ones, might I add) went straight down in the ground, making for a very awkward walking experience. We started out with the Field of Screams. Approximately 20 people went in at a time. It was a little scary. There were people waiting on the ground to grab your feet. The husband had his feet grabbed, but I didn't. I don't get scared very easily. I never have. As a young child, my OLDER brother would ask me to go outside after dark to get something he had left in the car, on the porch, etc. The hayride was next. It was really fun! Our seats were in the middle of the trailer. I was back-to-back with a little girl no heavier than 60 lbs. One should not underestimate the strength of a scared little girl! She actually moved my ass when something would scare her! I thought that people would run up to the trailer, but these people actually jumped onto the trailer while it was moving. That added some excitement that I was not expecting. We skipped the Village of the Dead because my cute-ass shoes were hurting my feet. Imagine that! So, we got some grub and the husband got a candy apple to take home. Good times! We'll definitely go back next year! We'll probably go a little earlier in the season, because the Saturday before Halloween was too busy! There were probably a couple thousand people there!

ONLY 5 MORE DAYS UNTIL ORLANDO!!!

My mom thought I should update everyone of my friend list. My friend list is is my personal proof that living in the city has helped me become a more well-rounded person. I told her that I got my Tupperware the other day and it was really neat. She said that she didn't realize I had ordered any Tupperware. I started telling her that our neighbors had a party and invited me. My neighbors are men - "life partners". They're the best neighbors! Very quiet, and they keep their yard tidy. What more could we ask for? So, they have parties every month or so. This was the most organized party I've ever been invited to! I couldn't attend because we were out of town, but I placed my order before the party happened. I had my order total emailed to me the day after I placed it. I gave them the money the same day. The following couple of weeks, emails were sent to update me on the status of the order. When they received the order, I got an email asking when we would be home or when and where I would like the order delivered. I just emailed them back and told them they could put it on our porch whenever - no rush. It was on our porch bright and early the following morning. It was organized and had a note telling me that they hope I enjoyed my new Tupperware and they will have a candle party in November, and December is their annual holiday open house, so they would fill me in on details soon. Gay men are naturally great organizers and party planners! No detail is left out! I encourage all my faithful blog-reading friends to make friends with "alternative lifestyles"!!! I just can't wait for the Mary Kay party now!

SCHOOL SUCKS!

This week is midterm week. Two for me and two for the husband. We have a pc and a laptop, but the pc is screwed up. So, for each of us to take a test at once, we have to go to the computer lab at the university (also my place of employment). This computer lab is nice and solemn and peaceful and great...99% of the time. The husband showed up with our books, and we went down the street to the brewery and got some grub. I don't know why I felt the need to drink prior to taking a midterm, but I'm an A student, and nothing can stop me from getting that damn letter each quarter in the mail from the Dean congratulating me on my awesome grades. Oh, but maybe one mojito and a noisy freaking computer lab. Oh, what the hell, go ahead and throw in one of those little bitty annoying headaches. So tiny, all it can do is just piss you off just a little bit. It doesn't want to make you puke or sleep or anything. It's useless. It should just surrender, but it doesn't...for approximately three days at a time, it just lingers. So, with a mojito, some garlic fries and a chicken Caesar salad in my system, we head back to the computer lab to conquer two of our four midterms. Upon arrival, it's so quiet. It's just the two of us. He even let out a surprise belch, and it was just the two of us there to laugh at it. Then, I let out a few loud BBQ poots. (We had lunch catered from Smoky Bones today. It's about the fourth or fifth catered lunch in two weeks. I work for a company that constantly spoils us with food. Good food, too! The baked beans were pretty impressive! I love me some beans!) So, we giggled alone and continued taking our exams. Then.....here they come. You know - the loud ones. They were working on an assignment together. Their professor was there, too. I was so pissed! I got a 64% on my midterm. I get choked up and my fingers could barely type that number. Sixty-four. GAG! I feel nauseas!
^I wrote this last night. I'm better today.
I can't even be mad if I get a couple of B's this quarter. It's been a tough quarter! With my promotion and being responsible for finding someone to replace me in my current position, I've hardly had the time or energy to study! I've also not had my glasses in a few (five) months. But, tonight, that changed! The husband had set his Austin PB & Cheese crackers on the back of the couch. He accidentally knocked them off, so as he was fetching them, he said, "Oh my God. Guess what I found!" I, of course, said, "a Ho-Ho?" I knew it wasn't a Ho-Ho, because one of us would have sniffed it out by now. The one thing that I would give anything for it to be was my beloved glasses. He had this look on his face like it might be the glasses but it might not be. I would have kicked him had he kept the news from me for another second. I sort of had this thought that it was a $1 bill or even a quarter or something. It could have even been a fast food ketchup packet or something. But, it was the glasses, and I loved those glasses, and we were actually shopping around to find the exact pair to replace them with. I have pissed the husband off since they've been gone with my driving and miscellaneous blind shenanigans. So, tonight is a really good night at our house. The moment I put them on I felt like Ralphie from The Christmas Story when his glasses were knocked off, and he put them back on. I looked all over the house, like I had never seen the place before. I can see everything again! Wow!

I lost a bet tonight, so I have to get up in the morning and cook breakfast for the husband. I said that Bill Paxton from Big Love (my favorite Mormon tv show) was Lt. Dan from Forrest Gump. Duh! I know I'm not a movie person, but I really thought I was right! I wish my glasses would have been found a couple of hours earlier!!! I wouldn't have said such a stupid thing! Now, I know better with my glasses on!

No cursing...I think.
Or...it means no tater twisters, no lightning, no numbers and no punctuation.
It's probably just no cursing.

Blogger finally allowed me to add the stupid picture.

I've been tagged by Stacey to tell about "MY CITY". This is the first time I've been tagged, and I've only lived in my city since May or June (I don't really remember), so I'll try to answer everything as much as I can. I have been visiting this place occasionally on the weekends for a few years now, but I've learned a lot more since living here!

Three places (things) I love here:

1. The ocean!!! Growing up in the Midwest, I visited the ocean for the first time when I was 13 or 14 (on previously mentioned horrible family vacation I begged not to go on to Florida). So, regardless of my failure to avoid seeing the ocean as a child, I really love it. There's something that's so calming to know I can go down the street and hear waves crashing in less than 10 minutes.

2. The Town Center. This is where I work, and it's a cool little place in "downtown". It's got the best steakhouse, The Funny Bone, Johnny Rockets burgers, The Cheesecake Factory, PF Chang's, California Pizza Kitchen, the coolest little stationary store and the ice cream shop with PUMPKIN ICE CREAM! It's just a really trendy little place that's growing really quickly. There's also a big fountain area with lots of benches and tables, and they have entertainers play there on summer evenings. It's a great place!

3. The military presence. Have I mentioned we live a couple of minutes from the largest Naval Air Station in the world? There's something great about the manners of the young men and women in the military. It's a pleasure shopping at the mall or grocery store with them. They're quiet during movies at the theater. They aren't rowdy in restaurants. I know there are some less mannered ones out there, but not here. Not that I've seen. They have their bad moments, but I'll save that for later.

Three places (things) I hate here:

1. The roads (because of the drivers). When you put thousands of people from all different parts of the country in one place, they're all going to drive as if they were at home. There are New Yorkers here that drive like New Yorkers do in New York. We're not in New York, but you couldn't tell because of all the honking, finger waving, pointing, etc. Regardless of military status, people can be rude and nasty behind the wheel of a car!

2. The Peppermint Club. I've never been there, but it has the ugliest storefront on Atlantic Street! I guess it was the happening place in the eighties, but we're in 2006 now, and I'm guessing the paint and decor has not changed since then. It's red and white striped and as ugly as anything I've ever seen!

3. Walmart Supercenter. Period. It's so packed! The traffic is so bad in the parking lot that they have a police officer directing traffic in and out of the parking lot. Hello? That's a sign to stay away!!!

Three places I like to go to with my friends:

1. (Duh!) The beach! My bestest girlfriend makes the best beach companion! We know what the other is thinking, and when an old man walks by in a Speedo, I already know she's thinking, "Awwww, old man buns!" We skip saying it and just giggle. We've witnessed many strange things together there with sand up our cracks!

I don't know anywhere else I'd rather be.

Three things an outsider (or I) wouldn't understand about my town:

1. The "no cursing" signs. I don't even understand them. I'm trying to post a picture of one, but it's not working.

2. The drivers. Yet another thing I don't even understand.

3. Why each hurriane season, everyone has to run to Home Depot or Walmart purchase all of the survival supplies. Why don't they have last year's survival kit? It just seems like there would be a certain point when the only people needing a hurricane kit would be the newcomers. Maybe I'm silly, but what did these people do last year when the hurricanes hit?

The fanciest neighborhood:

I don't really know, but it has to be one of them in the residential area of the oceanfront!

The ugliest neighborhood:

I don't know where it is, but we had a realtor take us through it. Can you say "GHETT-O"?

Pumpkin Ice Cream!

The husband and I just returned from a date at the Funny Bone comedy club. It's location is conveniently located across the street from Coldstone Creamery. If you've never been there, don't ever go! It's a good - no, it's a bad, bad, horrible habit to start! It's so yummy and bad for you. Tonight, the husband had one or four too many drinks and he wanted ice cream. I couldn't say no because he had my anniversary dozen yellow roses delivered today. He got some cookie dough creation, and I got pumpkin ice cream. Have I mentioned how much I love autumn and pumpkins and Pilgrims? Well, I do! I tried his cookie dough, but I didn't really like it. I think I overdosed on cookie dough as a kid, and I do not appreciate the flavor of it anymore. Weird. But, he finished his then the rest of my pumpkin delight after I couldn't handle any more of it.

Back to the flowers. They're gorgeous! He has this thing about me expecting flowers on occasions. For instance, Valentine's Day flowers are delivered to me at least a week early, and the same goes for every other occasion. It's funny, but not as funny as the little florist card sticking out of the bouquet on the plastic fork-like thing. He never signs his name or says I love you or anything like that. He says it to me dozens of times each day. When I wake up in the morning, when he leaves for work in the morning, when we talk on the phone during the day, when I come home at night, before we go to sleep at night, etc. But, not on a florist card. Most of the time, the card says, "SURPRISE" One time it said "Have a nice day" It was almost like the roses were supposed to be a t-shirt with a big happy face on it. Have a nice day? What sort of romantic message is that? He's so funny! So, I got an awesome piece of bling, a dozen long-stem yellow roses (my favorite), and I'm meeting Mickey Mouse in person? I must have paid it forward or something, because I've hit the 5-year anniversary jackpot!

The Funny Bone was quite hilarious! There were seven of us from work, and I laughed the entire evening! The headliner was awesome and had been on Blue Collar Comedy before. He was a redneck, so the husband and I definitely understood everything he made fun of. We were surrounded by a few city slickers that didn't appreciate it as much as us. Poor suckers!

Making the most of a rainy day…

It’s slightly cool and wet here today. I’m trying to make the most of a rainy day, and I’ve noticed others around me doing the same. Even in the elevator, I incorporated my umbrella into the “elevator game” I created a few months ago. (directions at bottom)

When I was driving home on my lunch hour, I noticed a man (maybe homeless, maybe not) under the bridge using sticks and 5-gallon buckets as drums. He was definitely not letting this rainy day get him down! If I didn’t have so much to do at work, I would have pulled over and hung out under the bridge with him. I might have even gotten him a chicken sandwich to throw on the ground. (Long story short: The husband and I were having lunch together a few weeks ago. Chick fil A accidentally gave us an extra meal. We saw a homeless man on a bike near where we were parked. The husband took the meal to him (still in the bag), the man threw it on the ground (still in the bag). He sat there for a few moments, then picked it up and rode his bike out in the middle of lunch hour traffic, nearly getting killed. The husband said that must have been his victory routine that he does after he gets food. Later, we noticed his bike and the Chick fil A sack (on the ground again) in front of the record store. He was nowhere to be found. I told the husband that he probably went in the record store to wash his hands before he ate lunch.)

I had 5 clementines today. Another of my favorite things about this time of year is the fruit selection. My favorite flavor is orange (candy, gum, juice, soda, etc). I don't necessarily like oranges (they're too messy), but I love me some clementines!!! Right now, you can get a box of them at the grocery store from Chile, but around Christmas, you can get them from Spain. I suggest you get them now! They're so good, and better this year than past years!!! They're smaller than normal oranges, but really easy to peel, and juicy, but not messy. My thumb and index fingernails are really orange from peeling so many of them. They're a little pricey, but well worth it for a seasonal treat!

Rules for the elevator game:
I take at least four elevators a day. There's one in the parking garage and one in the building I work in. Riding elevators can get boring, but it doesn't have to! I've tried to create an elevator revolution. It's quite simple. When you're on an elevator by yourself, and you stop at another floor to pick someone up, they're probably wondering what you were doing in there by yourself before they got on. They could be thinking:
* was she just farting in here?
* was she talking to herself in here?
* was she singing in here?
* was she dancing in here?
I like for people to wonder things like this. But, they'll never guess what I was doing in there before they got on with me! My activity of choice is that I run really fast in circles. Nobody would ever guess that! You just make sure you stop and act cool before the door opens. It also puts a smile on your face prior to the new passenger's entrance. I have gotten carried away and felt dizzy when I got out to walk across the street to my office. I think I had parked on the 9th floor of the parking garage, and nobody else got on the entire ride down, so I was doing it all for nothing. This is rare, but it can happen. I would suggest running in circles for no more than four floors at a time. I might just have a low tolerance for running in circles. Who knows!?!

HAPPY FRIGGIN BOSSY DAY!

So, today is the dumbest holiday ever! I wish I could say something like, "I'm Baptist... we don't observe Bosses Day." If I could have only wrapped up a one-way trip out our third floor office window, I would have today! It was one of those days! At the end of the long day, I thought I'd kick him while he was down and go ahead and schedule not one, but two vacations. I'm taking a few days off in November for the big 5th anniversary. Then, the first week in December will give me a nice retail vacation with lots of holiday sales! I can't help it that he's such a dirtbag sometimes!

Because I'm struggling in one of my classes, I had a minimal nervous breakdown over the weekend. It was also because our house needed cleaning, we needed groceries, I had a paper to write and a bunch of homework, and on and on and on. Now, since I started school again, I've always gotten that stupid letter from the Dean at the end of the semester stating that I made the Dean's List. My GPA is slightly under a 4.0. Yes, I'm a nerd! I can't help it. There's something about making straight A's that makes me happy. I got an upset stomach when I got an 89% in an Algebra class in the spring, even though I had failed the class five times in two states . Go figure. So, I've made Virginia my more successful college experience. I can't say it's the most fun one - Oklahoma has that title won by far! So, the husband agreed that the housecleaning was getting out of control, because we don't have any time together. We come home, we cook dinner, we do dishes, we do homework, then relax for a couple of hours before going to bed. It's a ridiculous schedule! I hate not having free time to spend together! So, we decided that we should hire someone to help us with dusting and vacuuming every couple of weeks. Hello? Have I mentioned how much I love him lately? He's watching Saturday Night Fever and won't stop saying "disco inferno" as we speak, and earlier we were singing "Get your freak on" and he told me that he puts his freak on one leg at a time. Where did I find him? He also took off a few days around our anniversary to possibly take me to Mickeyville. I've never been there, and he's always wanted to take me. This anniversary might top our crazy anniversary event list! Let me sum up our anniversary vacations:
Right before we got married, we went to Pigeon Forge, TN to Dollywood, etc. Yes, we were in our EARLY twenties then.
After we got married, we spend a few days in Eureka Springs, Arkansas at a haunted hotel.
We moved to Richmond, Virginia about 8 months after we got married.
Our first anniversary was spent in Niagara Falls, Canada. It was fun, but the currency difference was really confusing for some reason. What can I say? I'm not a numbers person!
Our second anniversary was spent in New York City. (lots of fun, but we have been there quite a bit, so that actual trip doesn't stick out in my mind)
Our third anniversary was spent in our new house because I had been laid off from my stupid job and we couldn't afford to go down the street.
Our fourth anniversary was spent in the mountains in one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen. It was on Skyline Drive in western Virginia. We were at a lodge with some senior citizens. Nothing for miles. No television or telephone in our cabin. Just a bed, fireplace and restroom. The main lodge had nightly entertainment. It was a local musician that sang campfire and children's silly songs (with audience participation, of course). We giggled and sang (okay, I sang) until we couldn't anymore. It was a lot like us at church. I sing and smile. He makes me giggle. It was a lot of fun! We visited a local cave and took lots of really cool pictures. It was so much fun!
So, we've been to some pretty cool places, but they're the same places that "older" people visit. I'm looking forward to a younger vacation in Florida. (Yes, Mom. Florida. The setting of my most horrible family vacation ever. I begged not to go. She made me. I had a horrible time, except for parasailing. I am confident that this Florida trip will be a lot more fun!)
We're really excited to go on some sort of gator tour. I've always wanted to go on a swamp tour on one of those strange looking boats with the big fan on it! When I mentioned it to the husband, he has also been longing for a swamp tour. What a perfect match! HEE HEE!

My Fun Grocery Shopping Experience
Okay. I admit it. Fall is my favorite season! Why? I like fall because of pumpkin pie. I was in the grocery store (in person) and walked through the bakery area. There they were. Pumpkin pies. Lots of them. I didn't get one, though. It's not time yet. But, they had pumpkin chocolate chip cookies. They are way more seasonal than the pies. I couldn't resist. I bought them. They were the most amazing things ever!!!! The husband loved them, too! I even smiled as I shopped because of the season. I didn't even cringe when I saw one of those inflatable lawn snowglobe attractions with snowmen and snow in it. Maybe it was the James Taylor Christmas carols playing in the background. What did I care? I had pumpkin cookies in my cart. Pumpkin + Cookies. Two of my favorite things! I got so into the holiday spirit that I was later shopping at Target with the husband, and I bought a Christmas CD. "Now that's what I call Christmas Volume 3" I even listened to it Sunday! It's a great CD! I hope I don't wear it out before December! I'm quite shocked at myself! I'm normally not one to think about "that holiday in December" before Thanksgiving. It actually makes me mad when people get ahead of themselves and leave the poor Pilgrims out of the holiday season. Don't worry, Pilgrims! I'm thankful for you and your pumpkin pies! :) But, I understand that we all need a little Christmas at different times through the year. I just needed Christmas a little early this year!

Let's catch up!

I haven't blogged since last Thursday, so I have a lot to talk about!
Friday, the husband and I drove to Richmond after I got off work. Living in Virginia Beach, we have to travel in tunnels under the ocean to go north or west. Well, there's a long bridge to get to the tunnel, and the waves were crashing and splashing on the bridge. We were having a storm of some kind, and it rained really hard and took us almost 3 hours to get there, and it normally takes 2. We stayed with our bestest friends, Jenn and Danimal. They're great! The had fixed their "penthouse" suite up for us! We giggled and watched a movie, then went to sleep. Okay, so I went to sleep prior to the movie, because I'm not really a movie person.
Jenn and I had to wake up really to volunteer at our university/employer's graduation ceremony. We had to be there at 8 am, so that meant we had to get up really early! I layed on the couch while she was in the shower. She has a big dog and a little dog. Her little dog (a teacup chihuahua), puked on me. I'm not a fan of puke at all. I mean, I puke like once ever 4 years. Yes, my puking is scheduled as often as the olympic games and the presidential election. I am not a puker! It's almost physically impossible for me to vomit - I swear! It's from a traumatic childhood experience. Yes, Mom, I just might tell them that you used to "strangle" me when I puked as a young child. She says I was such a terrible puker, that she was always afraid that I'd choke on my own puke so she would come and shake me while squeezing my neck. Oh, yes she did! So, my day started out with chihuahua chum on my shirt (luckily, I hadn't showered yet). We got to the graduation location. I wore heels because that's what I wear. My pants are made to be worn with heels. All of them! I'm short and require at least 2 1/4 inches additional verticalism. (yeah, I made that word up) So, the particular heels I was wearing were fairly new and pretty cute. I wear them on tile, carpet and the concrete sidewalk between the parking garage and my office. Never have been worn on shiny concrete. Maybe it's polished concrete or something. Well, when I walked on the floor of the convention center (previously mentioned shiny concrete), my shoes squeaked. SQUEAK - SQUEAK - SQUEAK It was so hilarious! Jenn and I couldn't stop laughing! Even funnier is the fact that I was one of the "flag/banner carriers" This meant I had to precede the graduates while carrying a banner. We couldn't contain ourselves thinking about me walking in the room while SQUEAK - SQUEAK - SQUEAK goes my heels. It was all okay because there was music and some clapping going on in the background. My next duty was "crowd control" and I just stood around to make sure nobody stood on their seat or stood up in front of people. Right in front of me, there was a child that was jumping around and ended up puking right in front of me. It was awful! I hate puke. The sound, the smell, the overall thought of it makes me sick. What's even worse is the clean-up effort. I hate that nasty smelling stuff they cover up the puke with. It's sort of minty. We have some minty lifesavers in a kitchen cabinet at work and it has that smell, and every time I have to open that cabinet, I have to voice my dislike for that particular odor. So, the graduation went on and the special speaker was a local newscaster. I had no idea, but it happened to be Jennifer's local celebrity crush. After the graduation, we went to the volunteer room to get some grub. We had no idea that Juan Conde (the local celebrity) would be there. He was mingling with the university Deans and employees with enough nerve to approach him. (he is very handsome) So, Jennifer and I were sitting on the floor eating our sandwiches, and Juan heads to the exit. Jennifer stops what she's doing and says, "Byyyyeeee Mr. Conde!" really loud. She tapped into some 6th grade girl for this moment. She starts giggling as soon as "Conde" leaves her mouth. He said something like he would be back later. She just couldn't stop giggling. It was too hilarious!
We returned to the house where our husbands were doing boy things like hooking up a VCR or something. We left the boys and went to ULTA, our favorite girl heaven! We purchased some new Bare Minerals makeup and tools, and at the checkout, there was a really ugly guy with makeup on. I mean red lipstick. He made a really bizarre comment about how I should let my eyebrows grow out and let a professional shape them. It pissed me off, but I kept my cool. I have always gotten compliments on my eyebrows. I don't really do much to them, because I have naturally shaped, not bushy by any means, feminine eyebrows. I was shocked and appalled! How dare he!
Note to self: NEVER LET A MAN GIVE YOU MAKEUP/GROOMING ADVICE
Yeah, I'll remember that! Who trusts a man with red lipstick on, anyways? Not me!
We finished the evening with Cracker Barrel (chicken livers - yum!)
The State Fair was supposed to be our "main event" while in Richmond, but the storm was still lingering, so we decided we would go next year. Wet cotton candy doesn't appeal to me.
UPDATES:
Our cable is back on. The big fat cable company jerks were doing an audit, and it appeared as though our cable was hooked up in an illegal manner. What? Yeah, $90/month should be illegal, but it's not. So, the husband told them that we should be pro-rated for those 2.63 days when we were without cable. We sorta felt that our electricity had been shut off. We have never had a utility shut off (except earlier last week) and I never want it to happen again! So, our cell phones were turned off early last week. A couple of months ago, the husband decided to change our cell phones to local numbers. We have lived here almost six months, so it was time to be a real "local" with a real local number. Well, the husband didn't inform our Accounts Payable Department (me) that the account number changes when the phone number changes. Well, I pay all of the bills online as soon as I receive them. Well, I've been paying to the old account for the past two months. They shut the darn things off. I called to talk to them about it. They said they could only discuss this with Mr. Silliness. So, the husband had to call them to tell them that, although they might not want to talk to me at this point, he would allow it. So, I called them to tell them that the money was there, it was just in the wrong spot. I explained and asked them to please just stop my nightmare and turn my phone back on. It's my everything. It's my child. Please.........turn............my............phone.........on! I was almost getting short on oxygen thinking about not being able to use my phone. They said that the transfer of money from one account to another could take a couple of days, and required a supervisor's approval. What? So, I couldn't take it anymore. I left work to go by an ATM and get $190 to pay the crooks just to turn our phones on. I could have had them turned back on immediately if we had been customers longer than 3 months. Hello - we have been their customers for almost 7 years. But...since we recently changed phone numbers and account numbers, they treat us like we're brand spanking new freaking customers. The good news is that we're not going to pay them again for two months. Sweet!
The husband and I went to the mall tonight because I had a coupon for my favorite bra store. I got three new ones, and the girls will be happy to be lifted and covered by them!
I also saw this really cute Asian-inspired top at the JCP. I tried it on and I looked like a sumo with big tits dressing up like a Geisha. Yuck! It made the husband giggle, and that's what really matters! (I didn't buy it, by the way)
Lady-like manners update: So, I totally cracked under pressure while at Jenn and Daniel's. I belched and farted like it was my own home. It sort of feels good to feel that comfortable in someone else's home. They're like family, so I said *screw manners* this weekend. I've been letting them rip left and right since then. So, I might try again later to polish up my manners. We'll see. I can do it when I have to! Example: Visit to mother-in-law and Southern Baptist Preacher father-in-law's house. I'm an angel then! HEE HEE!

WE'RE BOTH LOST NOW!!!

The cable is still not working correctly! We have had to laugh at each other this evening. It wasn't that hard, though! It's been a really funny 24 hours!

First of all, in the middle of the night last night, I ruined my lady-like allowance for the day when I sounded my butt alarm loud enough to wake the husband up from a deep sleep. I assumed he thought it was his alarm because he acted like he was getting up. I grabbed his arm and told him it was the wrong alarm and he should go back to sleep. He laughed and told me that was the loudest, longest, most megaphone-like fart he had ever heard. It honestly sounded like a pre-recorded prank poot. I've had a few internal plumbing-type issues here recently, and I'll continue blaming this freakish yet awesome fart on that. Now, I'm having some "girly" problems and I'm running low on "supplies." I mentioned to the husband that I needed to go to the store tonight to replenish my supplies. He said that since I didn't feel good, he would stop by and get all the supplies I needed on his way home from work. I thought that sounded nice, but I was a little hesitant about letting him do it. He's done it before, but it's just so funny! He's just so innocent, and that sanitary napkin aisle can be pretty intimidating! I can picture him reading the packages and scratching his forehead wondering which ones are the right ones. I told him something heavy with wings, and he said, "like a cement angel lawn ornament?" HA HA! I told him that was really funny but wasn't it, and it wasn't me in a Victoria's Secret ad, either. HEE HEE! He's so funny sometimes! So, he gets me what I asked for. I get home and there's a Wal-Mart sack full of pads. I just wanted a few, but he got me enough for a year, because they're not my normal method of leak protection. When I opened them and looked at them, some of them were REALLY long! I mean like long enough to be shoe cushions for his size 12 feet! If I take up volleyball as a hobby, I've got knee pads for the entire team! We got a huge kick out looking at them!. After closer inspection, I noticed they were really wide, too. He said they're for size 14 and up. What? Plus-size pads? Yes! So, yesterday, I was reminded that even my fingers are fat. Today, it's my hoo-ha that's larger than the "average" woman's. And, the fact that my husband examined the entire sanitary product section and thought that these would work well for my situation! It's funny because I would never get those! I would double up or something before I bought Lane Bryant maxis! He said there were a couple of women in the section at the same time as he was, and they were looking at each other like either they wanted to help or they wanted the other one to help him, but I guess if you just buy one of each type/size/shape, then you have covered all of your bases! Hopefully, my problem will end soon, but I'm giving my doctor a holla tomorrow to let him know things are getting out of control. He's a really nice OLD man! I'm a little picky about my hoo-ha and its visitors. I searched online for the best OB in VB. He's it! He has a bunch of kids and a bunch of grandkids, and the kicker - he owns 3 ice cream shops around the city. Hello? Need I say more? I thought that I would ask him for a "twist" after my last checkup, but I wasn't sure if he would understand what I meant, so I didn't say it. I might this time, though! I did watch to make sure he didn't take his tools out of a bucket of water like where he keeps his ice cream scoop. Nope. Clean tools - Check! Old man doctor - Check! The possibility of free ice cream after hoo-ha appointment - Check!
I always call my mom after my appointments, and she always says, "What did he say?" (I don't know what kind of question that is, but I always answer it) Well, it's just a yearly check-up and that particular type of doctor doesn't say much, but I told her he said, "SWEEEEEET!" when he leaned over my goods. She and dad got a good giggle out of it for quite a while! Dad even asked me to tell the story to his sister. He's just so dang proud of me! :)
NOTE: This wasn't even the most entertaining trip I've had to the doctor. One day, I will share my Doogie Howser OB experience with my blog friends.

Lady-like behavior update: 12% today (barely) After letting out the most appalling noise ever overnight, I thought it was an essential story for my work friends today. Since they're 98% ladylike, they weren't nearly as amused as I was! The noise itself counted for -50% of my daily percentage. The giggling and story-telling afterward counted for the rest.
Maybe tomorrow will be a better day for me and my manners!

The husband is LOST!!!

So, we just got home from our romantic dinner in the mall food court. We also went to purchase my anniversary band at Kay Jewelers. It's very shiny and pretty! Maybe I'll send pictures after I get it. Of course it has to be sized, because nobody normal has chubby fingers, and there's not a "big girl" jewelry store out there. It will take a week to get it back from having it sized, so they make having chubby fingers into a really big deal. Back to the husband's problem - Tivo has "farted" and has completely screwed up his evening of watching that silly Lost show!!! He's so mad that he said it "farted." He has manners dripping out of his ears! He can get pretty mad about things, but it's usually in moderation. I do almost everything in excess! If I'm mad, you can smell it! Also, if I have beans, you can smell it! :) He (in a very calm manner, might I add), called the cable company, and slowly explained the problem, and she said it would be about 20 minutes, and it should be fixed. I looked online, and told him that he could watch the show on the internet. It seemed to pacify him, then he acted like he already knew that and told me that he could also download it on his iPod and watch it at his leisure on his lunch break or something. I thought I was helping him out, and he got all smart-assy, techie nerd on me. Gosh! It made me want to download a big fart right on his head! Speaking of such, my lady-like manners were at an all-time high today. I came close to hitting 100%, but there were a few belches (in private) where I moved my arms to add dramatic effect, and I am fully aware that this behavior is not lady-like. I apologize for belching in such an awesome and spectacular fashion.
He was a real trooper tonight during the jewelry ordeal. I'm not a huge jewelry person myself, and I know that he doesn't like shiny things like I do, but he sat like a big boy while I took care of business. He did hand over his check card when I asked, though! He's a good boy! He also took me in the pet store, where I broke every rule they have. 1. Don't put your fingers in the cages. 2. Do not tap on glass. These are retarded rules! If you don't want my fingers (or entire hand) in the cage, then don't put them in cages. If you had glass boxes, you could eliminate half of the rules! If my too-fat for the stock size anniversary band finger fits through the dang cage, by God, I'm gonna pet that critter inside! Also, if the critter is not looking my way, I'm gonna tap on the glass to get its attention! How do I know if I want to buy it if I can't see its face? Actually, I'm not buying any dogs, but I march in that store each week like I'm going to!
So, he was so well-behaved, I asked him if he wanted a treat on the way home. He said he wanted a Chick-fil-A chocolate shake. I got a small "icedream" because Saturday is "Diet Eve" and I might as well enjoy something semi-yummy. It's actually yum! I was driving so he could read a book on the way to the mall (a whopping 10 minutes away), but he was trying to figure out how to fix my mom and dad's dishwasher from just 1,200 miles away. So, I pulled through the drive-thru, and started ordering, and he so pulled an Aunt Linda and started giggling, then laughing uncontrollably. I could hardly get a word out. When I finally got it out, we pulled around and I asked him what his problem was. He said he didn't hear anyone on the speaker, and he thought I just drove up and started shouting out orders. I can see where a chubby girl ordering ice cream might get a little impatient, but there really was a voice on the speaker prior to me shouting out our order. As they were milking the cow to make the ice cream, I made up an entire song to the tune of "I'm dreaming of a white Christmas" It was titled, "I'm dreaming of an ice cream cone" It was a really nice song. I would share it if I could only remember it!

I need to expand my friend list a little more, so I'm currently searching for the following friends:
* a friend with one or more missing limbs
* a friend that smells like cotton candy
* a pen pal friend in prison
* a pen pal friend not in prison
* a professional carnival worker friend
* a friend that drives a bus
* a friend that is a professional hopscotcher

That's good for now. Only serious inquiries, please!

By the way, the husband is on the phone with Cox Cable for the fourth time this evening. He's still as calm as he can be, but he's pacing a lot now. He's sure those little jerks underneath us have stolen our cable. (some of you may have heard me mention this little dirtbag couple - they're the ones that fight loud, then "make up" loud directly underneath us) Please keep the husband in your prayers tonight!

That Jewish holiday isn't all that stuff after all.

They don't eat or drink. They shower, wear leather shoes, have "marital contact" if they choose, etc. They just don't eat or drink, then at the end, they eat some food to end the fast (it was crappy fish and bagels this year says the Jew himself).
If I only had an insider on one of those Mason meetings, I have a feeling that would make for an interesting blog, and we would all learn so much from it!

So, I need to update my friend list. I realized today that I don't have an Amish friend. I do, however, have a Mennonite friend. He's pretty mainstream, though. He's often found in Best Buy purchasing CD's and the like. I've spotted him in there at least twice, and Jenn has too! Then, I was watching Ellen this evening, and she had John Heder on the show today. He's a Mormon. I don't have a Mormon friend, either. Gosh! So, I have a couple of new friends to find. The Jew asked me today if I was treating my friends like trading cards. Like, I would possibly trade him in exchange for an Amish or something. No. I won't do that. But, yes, I will continue trying to get Jenn an Asian friend. Jenn, I was just thinking about this... Lin and Jessica could be two Asian friends for you! They would be good ones, too! Not only are they Asian, but they've always given us such great mannies and peddies! We should really look into that!

Back to John Heder "Napoleon Dynamite." He's a Mormon. I wouldn't have guessed that one. He doesn't participate in the consumption of alcoholic beverages, swear or even drink caffiene. Holy crap! He also won't be associated with films where there is an excessive amount of that "stuff" going on. That's pretty bizarre!

This summer weather has got to be ending soon! It's hot out at 8am! I will miss the warm beach, but I'm sure the cool beach is equally nice, and much less touristy. I have to say, I'm going to miss one thing the most - brown shorts!!! What can brown do for me? Brown makes me smile and very thankful our office gets so many packages! At approximately 2pm each day, I'm greeted by a brown angel with the nicest legs I've ever seen! All the ladies in the office could pick his legs out of a line-up - guaranteed! He's just the nicest guy ever, too. His legs wouldn't be all that if he wasn't friendly. My Bub's a UPS delivery guy, so I'm going to let him know how much I appreciate what they do! :) Bless their little brown hearts! (Oh great, Jenn, here I go again...singing Pat Benatar's Heart Breaker, but using the lyrics "Heart Blesser" instead.) HEE HEE! I must stop making up stupid songs! They stay in your head 3-4 times longer than normal songs! It's a fact!

FYI: I was about 71% ladylike today. A couple of minor mishaps, but nothing major! My goal is 83% tomorrow, then 91% on Thursday, so I can do at least 93% during our overnight stay in Richmond on Friday night. I don't really think I can do it, but we'll see. Actually, I'm sorta waiting on my friend (who I just might be staying with Friday night) to read this and tell me that she loves me just the way I am, and that she really does like the ill-mannered me. Just kidding. This is good practice for....nothing, really. I like the less mannered me, too!

Monday's suck!

Today was my first day of attempting to act like a lady. It's something stupid I've gotten myself into. The husband and I were watching this show called "Things I hate about you." It's a reality show where two people share things about the other that they can't stand. The husband farted and belched non-stop, and the wife was just an all-around nag. There were three judges to determine which one was the most annoying. The wife was the most annoying in the end. My husband says he agrees with the wife that the belching and farting is annoying. I think it's a healthy act. I only fart and belch in our own home or in front of our bestest friends (a couple). Our best friends have never told me that they hate it when I do this, but the husband says they have to. My farts aren't stanky or anything in their presence. I save the stinkers for home (or at least the ride home - hee hee) We are going to spend the night at this couple's home Friday evening in Richmond. I told the husband that I would practice between now and then at my best lady-like manners. Tonight, I tried really hard, and only let a few slip. The husband noticed progress and even cheered at my attempt to cover up a couple of poots with coughs. I agree that I'm not good at these cover-up coughs, but I guess I'll try. At least we'll be at the fair on Saturday, where I can let them rip left and right without being noticed. While I was growing up, my family believed that if you had something inside of you, you should let it out! There wasn't any need to leave the room or anything. I assumed my family was "normal." Boy, was I wrong! The husband tells me that there's nothing normal about farting or belching, especially when you're a lady. Whatever! He's been putting up with it for almost five years. If it's not "normal," then it's something that one can easily overcome, I guess.

So, I was on the Weight Watchers diet until 7:30 pm tonight. We went to Moe's for burritos. It's really not that unhealthy! It's rice, beans, meat, lettuce, tomatoes, guacamole and cheese. Okay, so it might not have been that good for me, but it was good!

Today is Yom Kippur. You know, I do have a Jewish friend now, so it's time for me to polish up on my Jewish holiday knowledge. He wasn't at work because they have a lot of things to do to observe this holiday, but I looked it up and it's actually a lot of not doing things. No eating, no drinking, no bathing, no lotions or perfumes, no leather shoes and no marital relations. If one has not eaten, bathed or put perfume on, I think the no marital relations part is a no-brainer. Duh! I will find out more tomorrow when he returns to work (at the law firm across the street from the university) He's also a student at the university where I work, so I will get the details from him. Apparently, he spent the day at the temple, so keeping me updated on the holiday happenings via email was out of the question. I will try to get a play-by-play tomorrow and report back. I remember when Charlotte on Sex & The City wanted to become Jewish, but I don't remember what that required or anything. Stacey, do you remember that episode?

My coworkers are weird! I get along with everyone for the most part, but they do not get along with each other! I think my coworker Ms. D and I get along with each person individually, but nobody else really does. It's sort of sad, but it's okay. My new promotion will get me in an office on the other side of the building, and I won't have to deal with them much. I can't wait! I've waited for a while for this opportunity, and I'm really excited that I got it! Back to the weird coworkers...one girl has a bulldog puppy. She wants her dog to get girl dogs pregnant. Here's the catcher - bulldogs only give birth via c-section because their heads are so big, AND they only get pregnant by artificial insemination using a turkey baster. Now, I was just shocked listening to this nonsense. But, I didn't even think about the weirdest part until I was telling the husband the bizarre story. How does the turkey baster get "the stuff?" I can't stop thinking about it, but I'm mildly interested. I'm not going to ask her, because I don't really like getting on the dog subject with her, because she knows EVERYTHING about dogs and, well, everything else. I know I like to pet dogs and play with them, but that's it. I've never gotten a dog pregnant or anything, so I don't know much about that "end" of it, but I do know they don't like for you to take their food away from them, blow in their face, or put bows on their ears. They're a lot like me! I don't like those things either!

So, this season on the Ellen Degeneres show, she's encouraging people to make "life lists" of things they would like to accomplish during their lifetime. I'm starting mine here.
1. Hug a penguin
2. Be a truck driver (very short-term, but my truck driver name will be Cookie Monster, 10-4)
3. Swim with a dolphin
4. Visit every state in the US
5. Finish my MBA
6. Visit Alaska, Greece, Australia and Ireland
7. Live way out in the country with lots of animals (then, the Olive Garden will not be so convenient anymore, and it will be a big deal to dine there once again, Heather)
8. Learn Spanish, then visit Puerto Rico again and act like I don't know Spanish, then tell them what I think (en espanol) when I understand what they're saying about us. If you're visiting Puerto Rico, and someone who grew up there tells you that everyone there speaks English, they're lying. The ones that do speak it, don't want to speak it to gringos like us.

That's all for now. There's more, but I can't think of them right now. I'll think of more later.

LAZY GROCERY SHOPPING

Today, I did homework most of the day, so I barely even got out of the house for something funny to happen. I needed to stay in and get some things done, but I needed groceries. So, the busy/lazy thang that I am ordered her groceries online for the second time in her life. The first time was a horrible experience, and the grocery store sent me a survey afterwards, so I was honest. The little dirtbags had left out all of my produce, triggering a second trip to the store for their mistake. Of course I was ticked! So, they begged me to give it another shot and I did. No matter how much more begging they do, I'm not doing it anymore! It sucks! So, I spend about an hour browsing their website for everything healthy and Weight Watchers I could find. The most exciting part was some Weight Watchers blueberry muffins and double chocolate muffins. I couldn't wait to get my hands on them! Well, the husband says he will ride with me to the store to pick up the groceries. When you get there, there's a button you push and you just tell them your name. It's like a Sonic twist on the grocery store. The young man with our groceries was obviously in a very bad mood. The husband and I grinned at each other because we shouldn't do things like this, but it was funny. Plus, we smile at each other a lot because we can sort of read each other's thoughts, and they're usually really funny thoughts. We realize this service is probably for the disabled or elderly or for those parents with small children that cannot behave in grocery store settings. But, it could also be for the double full-time employee/student couple, and that's us! Plus, if I don't click on Snacks/Cookies, I'm not tempted by anything I shouldn't, and all of the fruits and vegetables look so pretty in the pictures! I just search "Weight Watchers," and everything they list I can have! Except they now make Weight Watchers cooking spray. What? That's just silly! So, we got home and started emptying the sacks. Wouldn't you know that the package of strawberries I got was ROTTEN! Yeah, I'm fat and on a diet (actually, going to be as soon as I get fresh strawberries to get this damn diet off to a good start), but you don't give the girl with a dozen Smart Ones frozen dinners rotten strawberries! And, the rotten strawberry slime is on every other piece of produce I bought. I clean it up a little and see that we have a voice mail on the home phone. I call in to retrieve my message. It's that danged ol' grocery store to apologize for not having ANY Weight Watchers muffins in stock. I got a lump in my throat as I listened. My gosh! I guess the diet will not start until I get nice, fresh strawberries and plenty of low-fat muffins to waste my points on. Weight Watchers is great! I really think it will work, because I'm a tad bit more excited about it this time, and I know more about it than the last time! It's sort of like a night at the arcade, just before you go home. You have a pocket full of tickets(points), and you can get prizes(food) with them, but not the really good prizes(food), because you don't have that many tickets (points). But, in this case, I can't ask the husband for some of his points so I can have that thing I really want, but don't need. Maybe by tomorrow, I can get the items necessary to get this diet off to a good start like I want to. Keep in mind, there is a HUGE diet speedbump coming up in just 6 days - the Virginia State Fair. YIKES! I can smell a points overload in my near future! Maybe next Saturday will be "Diet Eve" where I eat everything I can get my hands on. I can already picture a turkey leg in one hand and cotton candy in the other hand, and I'll make the husband hold the hot dog and fresh squeezed lemonade with his two hands! MWAH HA HA! Fun time at the fair...coming right up!!!